


From Two Worlds

by SuzuyaSenpai



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Smut, Violence, non Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-18 09:01:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5919073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuzuyaSenpai/pseuds/SuzuyaSenpai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'When he had ran for as long as his feet could carry him, he leaned his back breathlessly against a building. "Kaneki..." He sighed softly, feeling defeated. "Why did it have to be you?"'</p>
<p>How Suzuya and Kanekis lives intertwine until it all falls apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. From present to past

"You're...a ghoul..." Suzuya spoke brokenly, feeling as though his eyes were betraying him.

"Juuzou..." The other make whispered, his heart sinking into his stomach. "I..."

"No!" The blonde screamed, clenching is eyes shut and shook his head. "I swear, if it's the last thing I do, I'll kill you!" He opened his eyes to glare into the black and red eyes of Kaneki, the eyes he had once been so fond of. Suzuya didn't wait for the young male to respond and quickly ran from the direction he came, hoping Kaneki wouldn't follow. The huge skyscrapers and hidden alleyways offered a fast and easy escape, especially under the cover of night.

When he had ran for as long as his feet could carry him, he leaned his back breathlessly against a building. "Kaneki..." He sighed softly, feeling defeated. "Why did it have to be you?"

* * *

  
** One year earlier **

"Suzuya!" Shinohara called for his subordinate, soon finding the boy surrounded by dismembered ghouls. He heaved a heavy sigh and approached the blonde. "I told you, you have to work as a team. You can't keep running off to fight on your own, you'll get yourself killed." He cared for Juuzou deeply, but he didn't have a hard time reprimanding him, especially if it meant Juuzou would be safe. He wouldn't deny that the teen had a talent for ghoul hunting, but he was also careless, a loose cannon that had no morals on right and wrong.

Suzuya turned to Shinohara, flashing an innocent grin, his clothes bloodstained almost from head to toe. "I'm okay, Shinohara-San. I'm too fast for them." He beamed proudly at his mentor, before noticing the disapproving look he received.

"Come on Suzuya, we've been given a new mission." The elder turned his back and began to walk, expecting the younger to follow. Suzuya shrugged his shoulder and happily bound after his mentor. He knew Shinohara was looking out for him, he had since the day they had met, but he also knew that he was good at fighting ghouls and if he were to die it would be his fault alone.

"What's the mission?" He asked excitedly, rushing along beside his partner. "Are we going after some ghouls?"

"No, Suzuya. We're going to Anteiku, the small cafe in the twentieth ward." The elder explained, noticing his partners look of confusion and disappointment.

"Shinohara-San, why are we going to a cafe?" He asked, placing a dainty finger on his bottom lip in thought.

"Because it is expected that the manager, Yoshimura, and his employees have something to do with the ghoul activity in that ward. I'm afraid I can't discuss this any further until we're at headquarters." This received a quick nod of understanding from Suzuya.

* * *

 The two CCG investigators arrived at Anteiku, the elder placing his arm in front of the younger. "Before we go in, remember not to give anything away. We're here to find out about them, as much information as we can, okay?" Shinohara looked at he teen as seriously as he could. This was important and he couldn't afford to have either of them slip up.

"Mmhmm, I understand." The blonde smiled. "We're on a secret mission." He squinted his eyes slightly as he whispered the sentence. "Don't worry." He moved Shinoharas arm from I front of himself and proceeded to the entrance of the cafe, hearing a small bell ring as the door opened.

The cafe was small, but also with a home-like atmosphere and sunlight streaming beautifully through the large floor to ceiling Windows. The main thing that caught the teens attention was the smell...it was unlike anything Suzuya had smelt before, it was a strong smell of coffee and tea and it mixed perfectly.

"Suzuya." Shinohara spoke quietly to him. "Why don't you go grab us a table and I'll get some drinks." Suzuya nodded and wandered off to grab a table next to a window. The blonde watched as Shinohara approached the counter, where a young man with black hair was serving.

"Can I get two coffees please?" Shinohara asked, receiving a small smile and a nod from the young man.

"Of course." The coffee was quickly made. "Can I get you anything else, Sir?"

"Oh, no, that's all, thank you." He smiled and paid the man. "Kaneki, is it?" He asked, reading the name tag on the boy.

"Yes, sir." Kaneki offered a smile.

"I'm Shinohara and that boy over there is Suzuya." He pointed over to the blonde, who was now much too distracted by the thread on his hand to even notice.

The black haired teen looked over and cringed slightly as Suzuya pulled at one of his threads without even wincing a tiny bit. "Suzuya." He repeated softly.

"So, what's it like to work here, Kaneki? I've heard this part of town can be dangerous, you must have seen some things." Shinohara pressed on, focusing on his mission, knocking Kaneki out of his haze. For some reason it was almost impossible to keep his attention off the blonde across the room, there was an amazing smell coming from him, so sweet and pure, it was almost like a lunch bell for any ghoul.

 


	2. Anteiku

Suzuya sipped his coffee, humming happily to himself. It was the fourth time both he and Shinohara had come to Anteiku but they never seemed to leave with any useful information. Shinohara was a brilliant investigator, Suzuya knew that, but clearly his methods weren't working here. The elder had more of an interrogation style of speaking, he made people feel on like they were being put on the spot.

"Hmm." He sat up, an idea forming in his head, as he looked over at Shinohara attempting to question a girl with purple hair. He smiled at his partner, knowing he probably wasn't getting anything from the girl.

He smiled and stood up, carrying his empty cup to the front counter. "Hi!" He beamed at the man behind the counter. It was the guy with the black hair, the same one he had seen when they first came. "Can I get a refill please?" He asked in a high tone.

The waiter nodded and took his cup. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but you and your friend have been in here a lot lately." The man, Kaneki, asked as he poured some more coffee in to Suzuyas cup, before handing it back to him. "I've never seen you around before." Suzuya knew the question he was being asked was more than just a simple enquiry, he'd have to pretend not to notice though.

"Shinohara-San thought we should try a new cafe, it's much better than the old one we used to go to." Suzuya replied casually, cradling the warm cup in his hands. He hummed contently as he took as sip.

Kaneki watched the blonde. "Do you two work together? You don't really look like you have the same job." This received a small sound of confusion from Suzuya. "Not to offend you." He quickly added.

"We don't?" He looked over at Shinohara, the elder wearing a smart suit and tie, with his hair clear from his face. The blonde then looked down at himself and back at Kaneki. "I just have more style than Shinohara." He replied with a large smile. "But we do work together." He clarified.

Kaneki leaned against the counter, starting to become more intrigued by the strange pair. "What do you guys do?"

Suzuya tilted his head slightly to the side. "It's a secret." He whispered, leaning closer to Kaneki. "I'd have to kill you if I told you." He giggled, but Kaneki sensed a strangle serious undertone to what the blonde had said. Suzuya took a mental note of the flash of fear in Kanekis eyes.

"Do you know what ghouls are, Kaneki?" Suzuya suddenly asked, stirring the top of his finger in his coffee.

Kaneki froze for a moment, before regaining his calm composure. "Of course. Everyone knows, don't they?" His mind rushed to think of why the male would bring up ghouls. Did he know? Was he one of them?

"What would you do if you met one?" Suzuya continued. "They're pretty scary, right? I wouldn't want to bump in to one."

"Uuh, yeah, pretty scary I guess." Kaneki replied quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear what they were discussing. "But I really don't know much about them." The waiter turned his attention to cleaning up some dishes. "I like to think of them as just people though. I mean, it's not their fault they need to feed on humans...maybe they don't enjoy it. If anything, normal people are just as bad by killing ghouls. We all just want to survive, right?"

Suzuya stood up when he noticed Shinohara walking towards the door. "Thank you for the coffee, Kaneki-kun." The blonde smiled brightly, placing something on the counter top, before following his mentor.

"Kaneki, I'll be keeping an eye on you." Suzuya spoke allowed as he made his way out of the cafe.

Kaneki looked down at the counter, curious as to what the other male had put there. Next to the coffee cup sat a small piece of paper with a number on it. 'He gave me his number?' The waiter thought to himself.

Shinohara began to walk, knowing Suzuya was close behind him. The elder heaved a sigh. "If any of them know anything, they're not going to tell us." He muttered. Though they both had expected this would be the case, giving not all ghouls would willingly expose themselves to just anyone.

"Are we giving up?" Suzuya asked, only just having caught up. "We should just get to know them more."

The elder looked quizzically at Suzuya. "What do you mean? We can't spend too long wasting our time on this, if it doesn't get us anywhere."

The blonde grinned and closed his eyes briefly before speaking. "Shinohara..." He shook his head. "People only really expose themselves around people they trust. We have to make them trust us." He stated, as if it were obvious. He loved this part of investigations, the secrecy and the puzzles, piecing together the liars and the innocent. He was going to get to Kaneki by any means necessary.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> I took a little while to write this, because it originally went a lot different and I just didn't like it. Anyway, I hope this was okay~


	3. Late Night Ghoul

Suzuya spent the next couple of days keeping a careful watching on his phone. It wasn't something he often used, but he was certain giving Kaneki his number would guarantee they meet again.

He groaned in frustration and chucked his phone down on to his bed. Nothing, not on single call not even to check if this was the right number. After a quick glare at the phone, he perked up and grinned. "I'll just have to go back to Anteiku!" It was late in the day, but there was a chance that they might still be open.

He put his slippers on and headed out his door. He lived in a building of apartments, something the CCG had set him up in when he was brought to them. The apartment wasn't anything flashy, just a basic small studio, but the best thing was that Shinohara lived just down the street in a petit house with his family.

He put his hands in his trouser pockets as he walked outside, whistling to himself. 'How am I meant to get these people to trust me?' He thought. 'It's going to take so long.' Looking to his left he realised he was walking past Shinoharas home, he waved when he saw his partners wife at the window, receiving a wave back accompanied by a warm smile. Suzuya put a single finger on his lips, not wanting her to tell her husband that he was off somewhere, after all the last thing he needed was his mentor making things harder.

The investigator soon found himself outside Anteiku, but the building was no longer lit up and seemed to be lifeless. "Oh no." He said a little sadly. "They're closed." As he was about to turn away, he heard the familiar ring of the little bell on the door, someone was coming out. He saw two figures in the dark, slowing getting lit up as they stepped in to the street and stopping when their eyes landed on Suzuya.

"Kaneki-Kun!" Suzuya beamed. "I was afraid you had gone."

Kaneki looked to the person next to him, receiving a questioning look from his friend. "Uh, Hide, this is Suzuya...he comes to the cafe soemtimes." The other boy, Hide, looked at Suzuya before holding out his hand.

"Hideyoshi Nagachika." The teen introduced himself. Suzuya took the and and shook it enthusiastically.

"Suzuya Juuzou." He replied. "I met Kaneki when I first came here. I left him my number and he never called." He mock pouted, dropping his hand as he looked at Kaneki for an explanation.

"I...uh." Kaneki went a soft shade of pink, whilst Hide looked between them.

"Kaneki, I didn't know you had a boyfriend, how cute!" Hide teased, smirking at his friend. "I'll leave you two alone, but don't forget to call me sometime, I'm still your best friend you know!" He said through laugh, starting to walk away from other two. "It was nice to meet you Suzuya Juuzou!" Was his final call.

"Your friend is nice." Suzuya put his hands behind his back and smiled. "He's fond of you."

"We've been friends for a long time." Kaneki mumbled, still trying to get a grasp on what was happening. "I was...er...just going home. No one's usually here this late." Kaneki started to walk, soon realising Suzuya was walking along beside him.

"You didn't call me." Suzuya said softly.

"Hmm?" Kaneki glanced over at the blonde.

"I left you my number on the counter."

"Oh. I'm sorry. We just don't know each other that well." Kaneki tried to explain, not wanting to be rude.

"Isn't that why people give them? To get to know each other." Suzuya nudged Kaneki gently with his elbow.

"I guess so." Kaneki let out a nervous laugh. "So, why did you come out to the cafe so late? You shouldn't be drinking coffee at this time."

Suzuya looked at Kaneki, his large red eyes shining in the moonlight. "I came to see you." He admitted.

"Oh." Kaneki was left a little speechless, stopping to look at the blonde. "I guess it's a good thing I was there." He smiled. "I'm sorry for what Hide said back there, he just likes to embarrass me. He didn't mean to offend you."

"It didn't bother me, Kaneki-Kun, or offend me. Maybe Hide is on to something." The investigator said with a large smile.

"Wh-" Kaneki was cut off when they heard heavy footsteps coming from down an alleyway.

"Something smells good!" A deep voice cooed, soon followed by the appearance of a crazed looking ghoul, his eyes dark and red and locked on the two teens. He came racing at them both, trying to decipher which person had the irresistible smell.

'I can't fight this guy, not without exposing myself in front of Suzuya.' Kaneki thought in panic, but he couldn't just let the ghoul attack them.

'I could kill him easily, but then I blow my cover. I'll have to lure the ghoul away.' Suzuya pushed Kaneki. "Go!" He shouted. "Run Kaneki!" He turned to the ghoul, pretending as though he was frightened. "Come and get me!" He stuck his tongue out childishly at the ghoul, who was now running towards him.

"Suzuya!" Kaneki called, but the blonde had already started running. The ghoul raced past Kaneki, sparing him a quick look and quickly determined that Kenaki was not the one he was after. At that moment Kaneki remembered how he had felt when he first met Suzuya, the smell, impossibly sweet and bait for any ghoul.

Suzuya ran until he was down another street, hearing the racing footsteps behind him and rapid breathing. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a knife, before turning and throwing it into the ghoul, hitting it in the chest. The ghoul cried out but kept on coming, soon revealing his kagune; it was a bikaku kagune, one just like big madam had. The thought distracted Suzuya for a moment, only being brought back to reality when the tip of the kagune pierced through his shoulder. Suzuya let out a cry in surprise, unable to believe he'd been so careless. Rapidly he started to throw a few more knives hitting the ghoul in as many vital places as he could.  
The man collapsed just as he reached Suzuya, a pool of blood streaming from his wounds.

"Juuzou!" He heard Kaneki calling, but he knew he couldn't let the waiter find him like this. There was no way he could explain how he killed the ghoul. He held onto his bleeding shoulder, the blood dripping down his clothes and mixing with the ghouls blood on the floor. "We messed up Rei." He whispered. "I should have fought better and then I'd be gone by now." He kneeled down in the blood, unsure of who's it was anymore. At the end of the street he caught sight of Kaneki, who was running towards him. "He can't find out, Rei." He muttered before pretending to collapse in the blood. Moments later he felt arms around him, lifting him up gently. "Suzuya, I'm going to take you back to Anteiku."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to make the next chapter longer, so I'll get to work on that later ^.^
> 
> Also I was thinking of including some more Hide. I really love his character.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. A Ghoul and A Dove

Suzuyas eyes slowly opened slightly, his vision blurred, before blinking a few times. Shifting himself to sit up, he soon realised he wasn't at home, in fact he wasn't anywhere familiar. The room was dark, small rays of daylight streaming in from behind the window blinds. The room didn't seemed to belong to anyone, there were no belongings or little objects, the report was more of less empty.  
The bed he was in was comfortable, a thin duvet covering him. Sitting up he let a out a long yawn and stretched his arms above his head, catching the sight of his sleeves, or lack there of. In place of where his sleeves should be, there was a carefully wrapped bandage.

"Oh...my shoulder..." He placed his hand over where his wound had been. "I wonder what happened." He mumbled, remembering how he was injured, but not how he ended up in this room.

"You're awake." He heard a pleased voice say, looking across the room to see Kaneki stood at the door. The sight of the waiter made Suzuya feel relaxed...almost completely calm. "I was worried your wound would get infected. So I asked my manager to help treat you...he's good with that sort of thing."

"So are doctors." Suzuya muttered under his breath, wishing Kaneki hadn't seen him like he had last night.

Kaneki walked over to the blonde that was sat in bed. "How do you feel? You must have passed out from the pain...I was pretty worried last night. I guess it'll teach you to go fighting ghouls." He attempted to joke, laughing nervously.

Suzuya returned a tired look to Kaneki. "It doesn't hurt...but where are my clothes, Kaneki...and where am I?" He asked, pulling the duvet cover up to cover himself.

"Oh, we had to take your shirt off so we could get to your wound...I'm it was ruined though, I mean there was a pretty large rip where you were injured and we couldn't get the blood stains out." Kaneki explained, sitting on the edge of the bed, trying not to invade Suzuyas space. "And you're at Anteiku. A couple of the waiters live here...so there's usually a spare room for guests too."

"I want my shirt, Kaneki." Suzuya quickly demanded.

"But...it's ruined...I can give you one of mi-"

"I want my shirt!" Suzuya closed his eyes tightly, clenching his fits around the cover. He felt so exposed and uncomfortable.

"Okay, okay. I'll go get it for you, but try to calm down."

"You can't just take people's clothes off, Kaneki." The investigator said quietly. "You should ask."

"Juuzou...you weren't conscious and we had to get to your wound. What's wrong? Is it about your stitches, because I think they're neat." Kaneki tried to sound positive.

"No, I wouldn't do it if I didn't like them." Suzuya replied bluntly. "But you can't just undress me. What if I was a girl? Would you still have done it?"

"If it was a medical emergency...then yes. We had to treat you...I wanted to help." Kaneki bit his lip a little, before speaking up again. "You look beautiful, Suzuya, even when you're bloody and pale."

"I'm beautiful?" Suzuya asked, momentarily distracted from his shirt issue.

"I'm going to go make you some breakfast...you really should eat after yesterday." Kaneki tentatively rose from the bed and walked out of the room.  
  
Once Kaneki had gone, Suzuya leapt up from the bed, wrapping half the cover around himself and then the other half over the top, before tucking the corner in so that it would stay on without being held. "What's happening Rei." He asked himself. "I need to just be his friend and get the information I need." He walked over to the door. "Just a friend." A reminded himself.

Kaneki had just finished making both him and Suzuya a cup of coffee, obviously keeping the special sugar cubes out of Suzuyas coffee...he wouldn't want to accidentally give him those. He placed the two cups on a tray, along with two sandwiches, before picking it up to carry back upstairs.

Suzuya found his way too a set of stairs and quickly bounded down them, trying to find the way out. When he reached the bottom he burst through the closet door, knocking something over in the process. He realised he was in the actual cafe and the thing he had knocked with the door was in fact Kaneki, who was now on the floor with an empty tray and two broken cups. "Kaneki..." Suzuya looked down at the man he had knocked. "I'm sorry." If it wasn't for how uncomfortable he felt, he would have stayed and helped his friend up, but his mind got the better of him and he quickly ran out of the cafe.

"What was that all about?" Touka asked as he knelt down next to Kaneki, handing him a clothe to clean himself up.

"He was just a friend that I was trying to help." Kaneki tried to explain, trying to wipe the burning coffee from his legs.

"Do you always take your friends to bed?" She asked, keeping her face completely straight. "Because you should have probably told him that the duvet isn't something to take away, we need those." She carefully put the broken pieces of the cups onto the tray and stood back up, moving to tidy away the tray.

"I think I freaked him out." Kaneki stood up. "Though I'm not really sure how." He sighed.

 

* * *

 

 

"You're being unusually quiet, Kaneki, what's wrong?" Hide asked, after having realised he'd been talking for what felt like forever without any response from his friend. The two of them had been out at the library to get some books, when Hide had announced his hunger, now they were on their way to for-fill the blondes needs.

"Hmm? Nothing's wrong, Hide. I'm fine." The black haired teen tried to smile, but his mind was too distracted, still trying to think of what had happened between him and Suzuya.

Hide stopped walking and turned to place a hand on Kanekis shoulder. "I know when you're down. It's an insult that you'd lie to me." The blonde dropped his hand. "Come on, Kaneki, you've barely said a work all day. I know I have an amazing personality but I can't carry both sides of a conversations." He said with a small smile. "Did something happen with your boyfriend? Are you fighting?"

Kankei let out a small gasp and blushed. "H-he's not my boyfriend, Hide. I barely know him." He said in a slightly annoyed tone, wanting Hide to drop the subject.

"I saw the way you looked it him. It was just like how you used to look at Rize and you barely knew her then too. Take him out or something." Hide teased. "You know I won't judge you."

"Hide." Kaneki warned, before sighing. "He's not my boyfriend, but...we kind of left things at an awkward point. He freaked out about something and I haven't seen him since. It's been two weeks and he hasn't come back to the cafe."

"Didn't he give you his number, just call him you idiot." Hide rolled his eyes and they both continued to walk again.

Kaneki shrugged. "I tried...a few times, but he won't answer. I don't even know where he works."

Hide thought for a moment, putt his hands in his jacket pockets. "Just give him time. You know more than anyone that time is good." "But remember when you two get together, you can't leave me all lonely.

* * *

  
Suzuya walked reluctantly beside his partner. "We haven't had to go here for ages. Why are we going back now? They can't still suspect there are any ghouls there." He whined.

"They still aren't sure about that, we can't just write it off. However, I need to speak to someone in particular." Shinohara explained, finding Suzuyas strange reluctance somewhat amusing. "I thought you loved investigating? You don't seem very excited."

"I like fighting." Suzuya corrected him.

The two doves arrived at Anteiku and stepped inside, making the little bell ring once more. "Ah, there's the one we need to talk to." Shinohara said, gesturing to the black haired waiter.

"Uh, why don't you question him and I'll go sit over by the window." Suzuya suggested with a nervous smile, not waiting for an answer before he strolled over to a table.

Shinohara furrowed his brow in confusion, before walking up the the counter. He noticed the waited watching Suzuya, almost like he had wanted the blonde to come over. "Excuse me?" Shinohara asked, causing the waited to break his attention away from his partner.

"How can I help you sir?" The teen asked, smiling politely.

"I'll take two coffees please." He took the money out of his wallet and paid. "Aren't you that kid who was in that accident a few months ago? that girl gave her organs to you?" He noticed the way Kaneki momentarily froze as he made the coffee.

"I am." Came a hushed response. "But I didn't have much choice in the matter. They had to give me hers to save my life." He finished the coffees and placed them on the counter.

"Her death seemed to put a pause on a lot of ghoul attacks, don't you think?" He cautiously asked.

"I don't really know anything about that, Sir. She saved my life in some strange way, so I'd rather not talk ill of her."

Shinohara nodded. "Of course. My apologies." He picked up the two cups and carried them over to Suzuya. "We need to let them know we're with the CCG."

Suzuya tilted his head in confusion. "Won't that ruin the whole thing, Shinohara-San?"

"No, Suzuya. We need to make it clear to them they're being watched now...maybe ghouls activity will go down and then we can link it clearly with the staff here." Shinohara took a few sips of his coffee, watching his partner who was more interested in what was going on outside. "I'll need you to go and tell them." He added quickly.

"What?" Suzuya snapped his head around to look at Shinohara. "I can't do that."

"And why not? That waiter's been watching you for a while. I'm sure he wouldn't mind you talking to him." He tried to persuade, but the young man still looked reluctant.   
"I'll give you a special treat if you do." This caught Suzuyas attention.

"Hmm, okay, but it better be good." Suzuya huffed and stood up, twirling his way to the counter. "Kaneki-Kun!" He smiled brightly, as if this wasn't awkward for both of them. "I've missed you." He noticed the surprise on Kanekis face, knowing he was about to ask a million questions about what was going on. "Thank you for helping me with my injury, it's feeling a lot better now. Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't returned your calls, the CCG is keeping me pretty busy with finding ghouls right now." He grinned. "I'll see you some time then!" With that he walked back to his partner, leaving Kaneki stunned.

"He's...he..." Kaneki stuttered.

"Who is he and what are you going on about, Kaneki?" Nishio asked, sounding less than interested.

"He's Suzuya Juuzou...and he's a dove..." Kaneki said softly, not wanting to believe what he was saying. The words alarmed Nishio noticeably.

"A dove? We have doves here and we didn't know?!" He tried to keep his voice quiet. "We have to tell the manager! Keep an eyes on them and I'll go." Nishio said, before rushing off.

'Why does he have to be a dove? Could that even work? A ghoul and a dove...what am I thinking.' He thought to himself, frowning. 'I don't even like him like that...do I? I need to get to know him more...but I don't know if I can bare being around people who kill my kind...though if I let him know it bothers me, he'll know I'm a ghoul.'

"Suzuya?" Shinohara asked, as his partner stirred his coffee.

"Mhmm?" Suzuya replied, looking over at Kaneki.

"You know you shouldn't get involved with someone linked to an investigation." He tried to warn lightly.

"I was part of an investigation once and the entire CCG got involved." Suzuya replied absentmindedly.

"That was different. You were rescued, you're human. We don't know what these people are. I'm trying to protect you, Juuzou." Shinohara explained, sipping the rest of his coffee.

Suzuya frowned. "I don't like him like that, so you don't need to worry about me." Suzuya downed his drink and stood up, marching the the door. Shinohara waited a moment, before standing and walked to the counter, where a still stunned Kaneki stood.

"If you hurt him or his feelings, I'll arrest you simply for that alone." He warned the teen. "He likes you, so just...be kind." He admitted before following his partner out the cafe.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thank you all for reading!
> 
> Also thank you for all the kudos! It really makes my day and encourages me to keep writing ^.^


	5. Dove in Rain

"Kaneki." The manager sighed. "You have to understand that being around a dove is dangerous."

Kaneki frowned. "He's not dangerous. He's my friend." He insisted. The manager had called him up for a talk, after Nishio had made him aware that two doves had been visiting Anteiku...one taking particular interest in Kaneki.

"You said about that ghoul he killed, right? Not many people can kill a ghoul, it takes training." Yoshimura, the manager, knew that one day Anteiku could possibly be investigated, but he knew if they just acted like everything was normal they would all be fine. Kaneki, however, might be a risk if he got involved with a CCG agent. "And if you're around him for too long, what if you slip up and reveal you're a ghoul? What if he gets curious about your eye patch or lack of eating?"

Kaneki rose from the his chair, placing both hands on the managers desk. "I know what I'm doing and I know that I can control myself. He may have killed a ghoul, but he was injured too." He moved away from the desk and headed towards the door. "Nishio is with a human and I'm half human, so I can be white who I want."

The manager shook his head in disapproval. "He's a dove, Kaneki, none of them ever come here so why would they be interested now? They're up to something." He heaved a sigh. "Very well, Kaneki, but if he does find out who you are, you cannot put the rest of us in danger. I fear they're already on to us."

Kaneki gave a nod in understanding, before leaving. Suzuya was something strange to him, he didn't seem like a regular dove, maybe he didn't hate ghouls as much.

* * *

  
"Shinohara-San?" Suzuya looked confused at his partner, the two of them sat in a meeting room at the CCG. Suzuya had thought they had come in to discuss things with Amon, but no one else was here.

"Suzuya...I wanted to talk to you about that waiter at Anteiku." Shinohara explained.

"Oh...what about him?" Suzuya fidgeted with his hands.

"I was talking with the rest of the team and we all decided that you have a chance to get in with the workers at Anteiku. The waiter clearly likes you and we would like you to take advantage of that."

"You want me to pretend to be with him?" Suzuya furrowed his brow. "Can't I just be friends with him?"

"You need to get as close to him as possible. I have a feeling, if any of them were to reveal if they were ghouls it would be him. I know it's dangerous, they could even be planning exactly the same thing, but it might be worth any information we can gather." Shinohara didn't exactly want the young teen doing this, but the rest of the CCG were certain that any risks were worth it.

Suzuya looked down and nodded. "What happens when I get the information I need?"

"If he is human, you can do whatever you wish. If he is a ghoul...you know what to do." Shinohara stood up, understanding that the second Kaneki revealed himself as a ghoul...he would have to kill him. "Oh and Suzuya...be careful, okay? I don't want you to get hurt because of this. I promised I would take care of you." He gave Suzuya a reassuring part on the shoulder, before exiting the room.

* * *

  
Suzuya let out a deep breath as he approached Anteiku. Shinohara had decided not to come along this time, wanting it to be more private for Suzuya, although he had told the boy to report straight back to him.

It was raining heavily, Suzuyas bangs sticking to either side of his face and small droplets running off the ends of his hair. It was also pretty cold, especially not the sort of weather for a vest top and jacket, but he couldn't get himself to go inside. 'What if he doesn't like me enough for this? He could turn me down and then the mission will have failed.' He thought. 'What do I even do if he does say yes? I don't want to be that close to someone.' He frowned. "Come on Rei, we can do this." He tried to encourage himself, but when he decided he was ready the lights of the cafe turned off.

"They must be closing." He said in a hushed tone. "I'll come back tomorrow." He felt the tip of his nose and fingers going numb from the cold, but still couldn't move. He liked fighting and killing ghouls, but being with a potential ghoul, how could that work? And what if Kaneki wasn't a ghoul, would he just have to admit it was all just a mission?

Suzuya heard the door opening and the manager stepped forward into the light of a street lamp. He gestured to Suzuya to come inside. "Oh..." Suzuya took a few small steps. "Is Kaneki still here?" He asked, stopping in his tracks. He realised that he had admitted to being a CCG agent earlier, so what if this was a set up.

"You missed him by half an hour, but come in, it's far too cold to be stood out here." Yoshimura held the door open for Suzuya, the blonde slowly making his way inside.

He instantly felt the warmth hit him as he entered the cafe, dripping little pools of rainwater on to the wooden floor.

"Here." The manager held out a towel to Suzuya. "You should dry off, or you'll catch a cold."

"Thank you." Suzuya replied quietly, pressing the towel to his face.

"Come with me. I'll show you where you can stay." The manager started to head to the back door, but soon realised Suzuya wasn't following him. "Kaneki will be here in the morning." He explained, knowing who was on the blondes mind.

"Can't you ask him to come now?" The dove asked, not wanting to be here alone.

"In this weather? I think he'd like to stay at home. Now come on, I'll give him a call in the morning before work." The manager spoke gently, trying to assure Suzuya that it was okay.

Suzuya stayed silent and followed Yoshimura up the stairs and into a familiar room, the one he had woken up in about a month ago. "Does no one live in this room?" He asked.

"This ones for guests. Only a couple of the staff live here right now and they won't mind having you here too." He smiled at the young teen. "The bathroom is through that door and there are clean towel in there. I'll send Kaneki up when he arrives. Have a good night."

"Thank you." Suzuya managed to get out, just before the door closed. He looked around the room, noticing that the covers on the bed had been replaced. 'I should really give those back.' He thought. Unsure of what to do with himself he decided on a quick shower, before going to bed.

That night it was almost impossible for Suzuya to fall asleep, his mind worried that he was too exposed here, any ghoul could come in and kill him in his sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Suzuya woke up when he felt his hair being bushed behind his ear. When he opened his eyes, he saw Kaneki looking down at him.

"Sorry.." Kaneki said, blushing lightly as he retracted his hand. "Your hair was all in your face and it's still kind of damp."

The dark haired teen sat on the edge of the bed. "The manager said you came here last night? That he found you standing outside in the rain after hours. What were you doing?" He asked gently.

"I was waiting for you. I wanted to talk to you, but you weren't here." Suzuya said through a yawn.

"I'm sorry. I don't stay late all the time." He smiled sympathetically. "So, what did you want to talk to me about? It must've been important if you'd come so late at night."

Suzuya slowly sat up, smiling sleepily. "I like you, Kaneki." He tried to say nonchalantly, though internally he was panicking. 'I need him to believe me.'

Kaneki smiled endearingly. "I like you too, Suzuya, but what did you want to talk about."

Suzuya rolled his eyes and leaned closer to softly kiss Kanekis cheek. "Oh..." He heard the other male say with a breath. 'Good going Rei, we've got him.' He smiled at himself, thinking this mission would be easier than he thought.

"I like you too, Juuzou." Kaneki replied again, now understanding what was going on between them. "But...maybe we should take this slowly." Kaneki knew he liked Suzuya, but it was almost inevitable that Suzuya would find out he was a ghoul. He would have hoped they could have a relationship like Nishio and Kimi, but Kimi wasn't a CCG agent...and she willingly gave herself to Nishio when he was in need, something he knew Suzuya would not do. He could be honest with him right now and get it over with, or maybe he could see how it goes, after all it might not work out and that'll be it.

Suzuya nodded with a bright smile. "Slowly." He agreed. "But we can start with getting breakfast though, because I haven't eaten for ages and I'm hungry." Suzuya whined, patting his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you're all enjoying it at the moment!
> 
> Also thank you for all your comments/kudos/bookmarks, it really encourages me to continue writing and I love getting home from work and seeing them ^.^
> 
> I've already written the chapter for the middle of this fic and I really can't wait to get to that part!


	6. Tsukiyama!

It had been two weeks since Suzuya and Kaneki had admitted they liked one another, though they had barely spoken in that time. Kaneki kept an eye out at the cafe, waiting for his favourite blonde to walk in and brighten up the place with his smile, but days kept passing but he never came.

"Look out, doofus." Kaneki heard Touka grumble, as she wiped up the coffee he had spilt onto the floor. Kaneki had been distracted a lot in the past two weeks, spilling coffee, bumping into colleagues and customers, and forgetting orders.

"Oh, sorry, Touka-chan...my mind was somewhere else." He bent down to help her wipe up the mess, soaking up the liquid with a towel.

"Then get it back here. We can't have you daydreaming all day. Those investigators haven't been here for a while, so we're either in the clear or they're getting ready to take us all in." She whispered, sighing as she shook her head. "You need to be more careful. They could still be watching us." She warned him, with a faint frown. "You can't let that dove play with your feelings like this."

"I'm not...and he isn't...I just thought he would have come to see me by now. I'm not even sure what we are and I miss-" Kaneki was cut off by Touka throwing the damp towel at him.

"Stop talking about him like a love sick puppy. He's a dove and all they want to do is kill us." Her frowned faded a little, before both of them winced as they heard the cafe door slam open.

The two ghouls stood up, only to be greeted by an all to familiar face.

"Bonjour!" The tall ghoul greeted them, gesturing extravagantly to the people around him, before turning back to Touka and Kaneki, brushing off his white suit. "I was walking by and happened to smell something delicious." He grinned, leaning over the counter to get closer to Kaneki.

"How's my favourite dish doing on this beautiful morning?" The purple haired ghoul sat down on one of the stools.

"What do you want, Tsukiyama? You're not welcome here, especially not by me or Nishio." Touka spoke bluntly, before Kaneki had even thought of a reply.

"Like I said, Touka. I came to see what that delicious smell is." He reached forward and took Kanekis hand in his own. "But of course it was Kaneki. Who else could smell so divine?" He gently caressed the waiters hand with his fingers, inhaling the ghouls scent.

"Uh...I...I don't..." Kaneki stammered, before the he was distracted by the sound of the door bell ringing. He looked over and saw Suzuya, immediately making his heart beat faster; however it sank when Suzuya was followed in by Shinohara. 'He's not her to see me then. He must be at work.' Kaneki thought to himself. The waiter noticed Suzuya looking over at him and then at Tsukiyama. 'No, no, no, please don't read in to the way he looks at me. You don't understand, he just wants to eat me.' He watched the two investigators walk over to their usual table by the window. Kaneki sighed as he took in the sight of Suzuya, the investigator wearing his usual shirt and pants with suspenders. 'How can he wear that and still look perfect? He's wearing slippers for crying out loud, but somehow it suits him.' He thought.

Kaneki pulled his hand away from the purple haired ghoul, much to Tsukiyamas protests, and walked from out behind the front counter. "I have to do my job please either leave or order, Tsukiyama-San. I haven't got time for this today." Kaneki told him, before walking across the cafe and over to the two doves.

"Good, evening." He smiled at the two, trying to decipher just how awkward he should be feeling right now. "I haven't seen you two here for a while, what can I get you?" He asked, feeling a little nervous.

Shinohara gave Kaneki a small smile and a nod. "Work's been pretty busy for the both of us lately. I'm sure you've seen the news, ghouls are starting to become more active than we're prepared for." He offered as an explanation for their absence. "We'll take two coffees please." He asked said, before receiving a quick look off Suzuya. "Oh and a piece of cake."

Kaneki nodded, all the while trying to get the blonde to give him some kind of eye contact but it didn't happen. "I'll be back with those in a moment." He wrote down the order and went to go and make the drinks.

"What's going on here then?" Shinohara asked Suzuya.

"What makes you think there's anything going on, Shinohara-San?" The young dove replied nonchalantly, playing with a strand of his hair.

"You didn't even look at him. Usually I end up over here on my own whilst you're over there with him." He crossed his arms on the table. "Is this about what I asked you to do?" This received a small shake of the head from his partner.

"I can do it. I don't care about his feelings, as long as I get the job done, but I feel like this is going to take too long. We could find out if they're ghouls quicker than this." He replied in a quiet voice.

"Yes, but the CCG needs to be ready. We need time to get our forces together and plan for such an event. For now, we just need information. I don't want you to put your feelings at risk..."

"I don't have feelings for him." Suzuya snapped, impatiently.

Kaneki placed two cups of coffee on to a tray, along with a plate and a slice of cake, picking it up carefully.

"Kaneki-Kun!" He heard Tsukiyama call, the ghoul clearly having not left. "Who is that young beauty over there? He smells almost as sweet as you." Tsukiyama let out a small moan of delight. "You two would make the perfect dish. You can eat him, whilst I eat you, oh please Kaneki."

"Don't get too excited, he's a dove and I wouldn't let you touch him." Kaneki replied bluntly, noticing the look of lust in the ghouls eyes. 'The gourmet is really living up to his name.' He though, before his mind caught on to what Tsukiyama had said. 'Eat Juuzou? I could never...he smells so sweet, but he's my friend...my feeling are more than just me wanting to eat him.' He glanced at the dove. 'I wonder how he would taste though.' He shook his head, trying to get the thoughts from his mind.

Tsukiyama looked between the two males and then smiled knowingly. "A ghoul and a dove. How Romeo and Juliet of you. Surely you're aware they both die in the end.. Just make sure you invite me, when you decide to eat him." He kicked his lips, almost overwhelmed by the thought of eating them both.

"It's a good thing we're not them then.." Kaneki muttered, carrying the tray passed Tsukiyama and over to the two CCG investigators.

"Thank you. It looks perfect." Shinohara complimented, looking at Suzuya in hope he would say something too. When the blonde said nothing, Shinohara offered a sympathetic look to Kaneki.

"Call me over if you need anything else." Kaneki said, before walking away from the table.

Suzuya took a sip of his coffee, before starting on his cake, trying to pretend he was unaware of the purple haired man watching him. "Shinohara-San, who do you suppose that is? He hasn't stopped watching me for a while now."

Shinohara glanced at the male in question, before shrugging. "You do draw attention to yourself." He tried to say without offence.

Suzuya beamed brightly over at the ghoul. "Can I help you?" He called, hoping it would get rid of the attention. The man approached them, walking gracefully to their table. He stopped next to Suzuya, admiring him up close.

"I apologise, but I couldn't help but notice you. You're absolutely magnifique!" The man said, a little too enthusiastically for Suzuyas liking.

"You're almost too irresistible." Tsukiyama lifted a hand to cp Suzuya's cheek, brushing his thumb over the red thread on the doves lower lip.

Shinohara cleared his throat and stood up. "Suzuya, we best be leaving." The older investigator placed his money on the table and started to head for the door.

Suzuya's eyes widened and he quickly grabbed the ghouls wrist, clenching it tightly as he pulled it away from his face. "Don't touch me." He slammed the mans hand on to the table, before getting out of his seat. "Okay, Shinohara, I'll meet you outside, okay?" He received a nod from his partner.

Suzuya, ignoring the look of surprise on Tsukiyamas face, strolled over to Kaneki. "Kaneki-Kun, go on a date with me." He said confidently, leaning against the counter. Kaneki froze, as he was polishing a cup.

"A date? I haven't heard from you for two weeks." He pointed out, having thought Suzuya regretted telling Kaneki how he felt. He placed the cup down and picked up another, polishing it gently with a clothe. 'He still likes me. He wasn't scared off.' Kaneki internally celebrated.

"Yes, a date. I like you and you like me, so I'll pick you up after work tomorrow, okay?" He waved goodbye and left the cafe before Kaneki could process what had happened.

Tsukiyama approached Kaneki, cradling his injured wrist. "If you don't eat him soon, I might have to. It's been a while since I had a meal like him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you all enjoyed. I'm sorry this took a little longer than usual.
> 
> Again thank you for all the kudos and bookmarks, they made me so happy after a long week.
> 
> If anyone is interested, I made a Tokyo ghoul side blog on tumblr (Juuzou-Rei)


	7. A Dove For A Date

Kaneki had broken at least three cups during service, receiving annoyed looks off both Touka and Nishio. He had been distracted the whole day, unable too get Suzua off his mind...or more the fact that they were meant to be going on a date. Kaneki hadn't been on a date since Rize and that hadn't gone extremely well.

"Idiot, will you get your head out of the clouds and do some work." Touka hissed, having taken care off most of Kanekis work for the day. They hadn't been particularly busy, but it was never useful having someone there who was in the clouds all day.

"Sorry, Touka-chan...I guess I've been pretty unless today." Kaneki mumbled in apology, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Pretty useless? More like completely." Kaneki heard Nishiki mutter as he went to clean the tables down.

"Nishiki!" Touka warned, before calming down. "Kaneki, you can't keep coming to work like this. Is this because of Tsukiyama? I thought you would be used to his surprise visits by now." She sighed and closed up the register, watching the last few customer leave.

"Oh, no...I'm used to him, I suppose. It was Suzuya actually..." Kaneki admitted, receiving a groan in response from the purple haired ghoul.

"The dove? Why are you still waisting your time with him?" She asked. "Doves and ghouls just don't work. It's just as bad being with a normal human."

"Nishio is happy with Kimi, right Nishio-Senpai?" Kaneki looked over to Nishiki, hoping someone would support him.

"Of course I am." Nishiki paused his work, leaning back against a table. "But Kimi knows I'm a ghoul and she chose to risk her life by staying with me. I doubt that dove would offer himself or even try to help you if you were starving." Nishiki smirked and gave a shrug. "He would probably just kill you the moment he found out what you are. Maybe you should kill him before he gets the chance."

Kaneki frowned. "We could be just as happy as you and Kimi."

Nishiki laughed. "Chances are he already knows what you are. They're investigating us, right? He's probably using you to get to us. Just think about that whilst you're on your date tonight."

Kanekis cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink, looking at the clock on the wall to see that he should be getting picked up in less than ten minutes. "Why would he even ask me on a date if he was just investigating?"

"I'm not saying he definitely is, but you should just keep it in mind...that way it's not a surprise when he betrays you and tries to kill you." Nishiki explained. "Anyway, where are you two going? You can't have much in common with the guy and it's not like you can go hunting together." Nishiki walked over to the front counter, stirring at one of the stools. He placed his wash clothe on the surface of the counter in front of him. "And do you really plan on going like that? Your work clothes aren't exactly the sexiest piece of clothing."

Kaneki looked down at himself. "Oh...uh, I was going to change. I don't have much time though."

Touka went around the counter and sat next to Nishiki. "Just take off the waist coat and the tie and you'll be fine. It's just a date, stop worrying so much about it, besides if the worst happens you can always just get rid of him."

Kaneki did as Touka said and removed parts of his uniform, leaving him in his shirt and trousers. "How do I look?"

"Like every doves dream." Nishiki snickered.

* * *

  
Suzuya was sat on a path the opposite side of Anteiku, looking up at the darkening sky. "One more minute until Kaneki is finished." He leaned his head back against a lamp post. "It's almost show time, Rei." He closed his eyes and hummed softly.

* * *

  
"So where's this date of yours, Kaneki?" Nishiki teased, having returned from upstairs with his clothes changed and ready to go home. "Maybe he found some other ghouls to kill. Better luck next time kid." He patted Kanekis shoulder, feeling somewhat sorry for him.

The dark haired waited was sat on a stool, slouching against the counter. "Maybe he did..." He mumbled in response. "He's twenty minutes late...I thought he would at least call to say he wasn't coming."

"He's a CCG investigator, they're busy people. Busy killing and investigating us. It was a stupid idea to go on a date with one...especially him, he's young and impulsive and he could kill you without a thought." Nishiki attempted to make Kaneki feel better, but all he got in response was a heavy sigh. "I'll see you tomorrow. Just don't stay sat here for the whole night." He headed to the door and left, leaving Kaneki in an uncomfortable silence.

After a further half an hour of waiting, Kaneki got up and turned off the lights, leaving the cafe. He hadn't expected the date to go smoothly, but he had at least expected the dove to show up. As he stepped down the path, he noticed a figure sat under a street lamp. "Hellos." He asked, Unsure whether to get closer, but took a few small steps anyway. He soon made it halfway across the road and could now clearly see the figure, the familiar red eyes, that matched the red stitching so perfectly. "Juuzou? I thought you weren't coming." He said a little bitterly.

Suzuya looked over at Kaneki, smiling softly. "Kaneki-Kun, it sure is a beautiful night." He responded, standing up. "Are you ready to go?" He asked, excitedly.

"Actually Juuzou, I think I'm just going to go home. It's late and I'm tired." Kaneki looked down at his feet.

"Go home? But we have a date." The blonde sounded confused.

"That your fifty minutes late for. I was sat in there like an idiot, because even though your some sort of investigator, I thought you would have time for me." Kaneki frowned. "Nishiki told me this was a stupid idea."

"Then he was wrong." Suzuya stepped forward. "I was here...but I was too nervous to come in." He looked at Kaneki with sorry eyes, hoping that he would be forgiven.

Kaneki sighed softly. "I have work tomorrow and everything's closed, but I suppose I could stay out for a little longer." He gave a small smile, noticing the way Juuzous face lit up.

"Great, let's get going then!" Suzuya started heading down the road. "Let's go Kaneki!" He sang happily.

Kaneki couldn't help but smile as he followed the dove down the road. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see!"

* * *

  
The two teens sat on the edge of tall skyscraper, with Juuzou swinging his legs over the side. They had bought a couple bottles of water and some sandwiches, which they had ate in a more than comfortable silence. Kaneki could barely keep the sandwich down, still finding it hard to swallow food, but he needed to keep up appearances. Suzuya took note of how Kaneki eat, knowing ghouls couldn't eat human food. 'He didn't seem to have any trouble eating it...' He thought to himself.

"So, what building are we on top of right now?" Kaneki asked. They had climbed up the fire escape, which Suzuya seemed to do with ease so Kaneki could only assume he had done it before.

"I don't know." Suzuya shrugged. "I just like to come up here, because over there up you can see the CCG building." He said, pointing in the direction. "And over there is where I live." If it wasn't for the bright lights of the buildings around them, they would have been in total darkness, but the view was still quite breath taking. Kaneki felt himself shiver a little from the cold, curing himself for not bringing a jacket, though he couldn't imagine Suzuya was warm either. They both could have gone home and gotten in to the warmth, but something made them want to suffer through the cold.

"Do you live with your parents? I figured we must be around the same age." Kaneki asked.

"Oh, no. I live by myself." Suzuya admitted softly, though he was unsure as to why he was opening up to Kaneki. "I don't know my parents." Part of Suzuya believed Kaneki was no longer a threat, but he shouldn't let his guard down completely.

Kaneki frowned I'm confusion. "I'm sorry. I lost my parents too...it seems a lot of people have that bad luck around here." He shuffled a little closer to the blonde.

"They aren't dead, though it doesn't really matter anyway, they're not here. The CCG are more like my family now, I've been there since I was young." Suzuya dangle one of his slippers on his toes, keeping it balanced. "And I have Shinohara."

"Your partner? Don't you find it hard without someone who cares for you? I know that without my Hide, I'm not sure if I could have made it by myself." Kaneki admitted.

"People are cared for in different ways. Big Madam cared for me, in her own way and I think Shinohara does too. I've never been by myself really." Juuzou smiled at Kaneki.

"Who's big madam?" Kaneki asked curiously.

"Oh, no, she's no one." Suzuya shrugged. "It doesn't matter." He stood up, making Kaneki subconsciously reach out for him and hold on to his shirt to stop the blonde from falling. "It's okay, Kaneki, I won't fall." He assured him, feeling Kanekis grip loosen a little.

Kaneki stood up with him, though not so close to the edge. "So, what made you join the CCG? You seem pretty young to be an investigator. I have to say I was pretty surprised when you told me."

"It's a little complicated. Shinohara sort of...found me and I had no where else to go." Suzuya tried to skip around the details.

"Juuzou...you can trust me." Kaneki moved his hand to gently hold Suzuya's, surprised at how warm the doves hands felt.

"I'll tell you next time I see you, I promise." Kaneki gave a nod, trusting Suzuya.

"You're a bit of a mystery, Suzuya." He said with and affectionate grin. "It's going to take me a while to figure you out."

"But you already feel comfortable enough to go on a date with me." Suzuya pointed out. "I want to know you, Kaneki-Kun. I want to know about your hopes and fears, everything."

"You do?" Kaneki asked in slight surprise. 'For a while I didn't think he really cared. I guess Nishio wasn't right after all.' He smiled warmly. "There's something about you that makes me feel like we already know each other somehow. If you wanted to, I would love to go on another date with you...a proper date."

Suzuya nodded eagerly. "A proper date would be nice. We could go watch a movie and get something to eat." The thought of having to stomach more food made Kaneki feel sick, but he was willing to for the sake of having more time with Suzuya.

"I would love to. I should get home now though."

* * *

  
Kaneki and Suzuya stopped outside of Kanekis apartment building. "I have to admit, I thought tonight wasn't going to go well, but I had a really great time." Kaneki told the blonde, watching the doves face relax in relief.

"Me too." Suzuya replied.

"I'll see you soon. Goodnight, Juuzou." Kaneki said his goodbye somewhat reluctantly, before turning away to go in to the building.

"Wait!" Suzuya reached forward and grabbed Kanekis hand, making the other male turn to face him. 'I can't let him go now, Rei.'

"Thank you, for tonight, even though I was late. I...I really like you, Kaneki, since the first time I came to Anteiku. When I told you I liked you...I was so nervous, I thought you'd turn me down, but it meant so much to me that you returned my feelings." He stepped forward and wrapped his arms gently around Kaneki. "Thank you, Kaneki."

Kaneki was unsure exactly what Suzuya was thanking him for, but nonetheless Kaneki returned the hug, wrapping his arms securely around Suzuyas waist, holding him close. "Juuzou, you've taken my breath away since I first saw you." The blonde pulled back slightly so that he was face to face with Kaneki.

"I have?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you're all enjoying this so far! The next chapter will be up some time tomorrow~
> 
> Also, the next few chapters are going to be where all of my warnings come in (such as violence and mature themes) so please let me know if you are uncomfortable with this!
> 
> (Tumblr: Juuzou-Rei)


	8. Open Up Dove

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I've out the note at the beginning this time, just to reiterate that the violence and mature themes will be coming into this fic in this chapter and the next few. I know I already have the warnings on, but just to let you know!
> 
> I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading~

Suzuya wiped the blood from the corner of lips, his eyes borrowing on the group of ghouls in front of him. He had been on the way to his now favourite coffee shop, when a group of ghouls had picked up on his unusually sweet smell, it seemed to be like candy for them. He didn't want to cause a scene in front of loads of passers by, so he had lead the group to an abandoned side street where many of the buildings were out of business and boarded up. He had taken a few swift hits from the groups leader, splitting his lip open, but he leapt back to avoid following attacks.

The dove realised that without his quinque he didn't stand much of a chance against a group of five ghouls, but he wasn't going to let himself give in. Removing the braces from his shoulders, he unbuttoned his shirt to reveal the obscene amount of knives that were hidden on his person. "Let's do this, Rei." He let the ghouls back him in to a corner, pulling out on of his knives to throw. The ghouls started to move closer, each one drooling with anticipation of their tasty meal.

The leader of the group released his kagune, the strange muscle ripped out of the ghouls shoulder, wrapping around his arm until it came to a fine point at the end. "I wonder how quickly I can rip through you all." Suzuya grinned, aiming his knife at the ghoul before releasing it at speed. The knife hit the ghoul in a matter of second, piercing through the red of its eye, erupting a horrible screech from the man.

"How many knives will it take for you to die?" The dove asked as he threw knives rapidly at the same ghoul, the others standing to watch in horror. Suzuya ran towards the ghoul dodging his kagune, as the knives ripped deeply into its flesh, blood pouring from every new wound.

"I can't die." The ghoul gasped, breathing heavily as he tried to pull the knives from his flesh, some of them penetrating too deep. "You CCG are nothing but inferior pests." The ghoul growled as he ripped out a knife, dropping it to the floor. Suzuya only laughed in response, as he continued to rapidly hurl knives, until he was right in front of the ghoul. He took a final knife and dug it into the ghouls chest, pulling it downward to rip the ghoul open. "You all break so easily." He commented happily. "I wish you would put up more of a fight." He mumbled in disappointment, noticing the kagune going limp, before slowly retracting. Blood spilt from the ghouls chest and mouth, falling into a pool on both the floor and Suzuya. The dove smiled proudly, though the moment was quickly ruined as one of the other ghouls curled his koukaku around Suzuyas legs, before piercing through his thigh. The dove looked down, taken completely by surprise as he watched the dark flow of blood leaving his body.

"I'm going to tear you apart." The ghoul pulled Suzuya by his wound, watching the dove writhing to break free. The investigator was raised from the floor by his leg, as the remaining four ghouls surrounded him below. "I'd like to see you try." Suzuya replied, sending a shower of blades down on to the group. He felt the koukaku rip from inside his thigh, as the ghouls were pierced repeatedly by the knives, causing Suzuya to fall to the ground. The dove landed in a pool of blood, streaming from around him as the ghouls all collapsed. "That was barely a fight." Suzuya mocked, attempting to stand on his injured leg. "Shinohara-San isn't going to be happy about this." He sighed and collected his knives, pulling them from eyes, chests, stomachs and various other limbs. There was a loud crack in the sky, before rain started to pour down on him and the deceased ghouls, washing the blood into the drains.

* * *

  
Suzuya looked at himself in his bathroom mirror, noticing his split lip and a rather nasty graze on his cheek. "Must've happened when I fell." He said softly to himself, noting other bruises on his body. He looked at his bare chest, bruises forming on his stomach and hips, close to where his red thread spiralled around him. "These look like they'll take a while to go." He sat down on the floor, pulling his first aid box next to him, where he pulled out some bandages. "I'll have to tell Shinohara about this, but for now I guess bandages will do." He wrapped the deep gash in his leg with the bandages, quickly soaking them in blood. "Hmm, on second thought, it will just worry him." Once the wound was wrapped up, he slipped his clothes back on and shakily stood up, barely able to walk on his leg.

* * *

  
"So Kaneki, how was the date? Did you try to eat him?" Nishiki asked with a humorous grin spread across his face. "I mean a date's not a date without a proper meal." Kaneki groaned in response, carry cups of coffee over to some customers, before returning to the front counter.

"It was surprising...really nice. Something about him just makes me feel all funny inside, like I'm about to burst." Kaneki tried to explain.

"Is that your kagune talking, Kaneki?" Nishiki asked with a laugh.

"No, I mean...we really connect. He still has that irresistible smell, but instead of eating him, I just want to be around him all the time...I kind of want to spend all my time with him actually. I haven't felt this way about someone since...well ever really. I had a thing for Rize, but then she tried to eat me, so we never got to have real feelings." Kaneki rambled, receiving a gagging noise from Nishiki.

"Don't tell me you already have feelings for him? Why don't you find a cute ghoul? Then you can hunt together and you won't be constantly wondering who will end up killing who." Nishiki commented as he started to brew some more coffee.

"I don't think he suspects me anymore. When we went out last night, he gave me this look like he could see every ting about me, even though he has no idea. I love the way he looks at me...it's like the way Kimi looks at you, doesn't that make you feel something?" He asked, though he wasn't sure if Nishiki was the best person to talk to about this sort of thing.

Nishiki sighed softly. "It does. Kimi makes me feel lucky to have found a human who isn't afraid of me and I trust her completely to not betray me. Though Kimi and I have trust, whereas you and this dove don't. He's been honest with you to an extent and told you he's a CCG investigator, but how do you think he'll react if you were honest with him? Would he still like you?"

"I...I'm going to tell him one day, but it depends how things between us go, but I trust him...I think if he likes the human part of me, maybe the ghoul could be an exception."

Nishiki shrugged, no longer arguing against Kaneki, because if he wanted to take the risk to be with someone then Nishiki wasn't one to judge. As the two of them prepared drinks the chime of the door bell sounded, before a limping Suzuya came in to view.

"Wow, he's a mess. Did you do that?" Nishiki asked Kaneki, bringing the dark haired waiters attention to the dove in the doorway. Kanekis mouth gaped open a little as he rushed around the counter to go and assist Suzuya.

"What happened?" He asked in a gentle and worrisome tone, placing his arms around the blonde. "Who did this to you?" He had a pretty good idea of what had happened and he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear about it, but he cared for Suzuya and the teen was clearly injured.

"It was just some ghouls, Kaneki, but I got them. They're a lot worse off than I am, since they're dead and I'm not." Suzuya smiled, limping over to a table with the aid of Kaneki.

"You got into a fight with them? How many?..are they dead?" Kaneki lifted a hand to gently brush his thumb over the graze on Suzuyas cheek.

"I ran in to them on my way here and they started it. I lost some of my best knives because of them. You should've seen it, Kaneki-Kun, I was so fast. Those ghouls didn't stand a chance." Suzuya was practically beaming with pride, though Kaneki wasn't sure he could congratulate him. It was hard being half human and half ghoul, because he couldn't side with humans killing ghouls or ghouls killing humans. It was like he was stuck in between both ghouls and humans.

"Are you hurt?" He asked with concern a small frown forming on his face. "It looks like they got you too." Suzuya shook his head.

"I'm okay. Just a few bruises and scratches." He was reluctant to inform Kaneki of the hole in his thigh.

"We should get the manager to check you over. He's the one who took care of you last time, but I'm sure he'd appreciate it if you didn't steal the duvet again." Kaneki said with a small laugh. "Come on, he's upstairs." Kaneki stood up and walked toward the back door, Suzuya following him. The blonde made it a few steps, before his injured leg gave way and he collapsed on the floor. "Juuzou!" Kaneki rushed over to him. "What happened?" He bent down to inspect the dove.

"It's...my leg...one of the ghouls caught me off guard and stabbed me through the thigh with his kagune." Suzuya admitted. "It's nothing though, I can't even feel it." Kaneki looked down at the rip on Suzuya trousers, seeing the blood soaked bandage under the clothing.

"Come on, you need to get this looked at." He carefully put one arm around Suzuyas shoulder and the other under his legs, picking him up. "Nishiki, can you watch the counter, I need to take him upstairs."

"Oh, sure, lover boy, take your time." Nishiki teased, as Kaneki took Suzuya through the back door and up the stairs.

* * *

  
"It's good you came here. This wound could've ended up terribly infected if you had left it much longer." The managed told Suzuya, replacing the bloody bandages with fresh ones. The wound on Suzuyas thigh had been cleaned and stitched up, though the manager had told him he would have been better off going to a hospital, something with the dove had seemed to protest against.

"Still, we'll have to keep a watchful eye on it and I recommend plenty of rest. Kaneki, he'll need pain relief every few hours." Yoshimura told the waiter, before heading to the door. "I wouldn't recommend fighting anymore ghouls for a least a couple of weeks." He told the blonde, before leaving.

They were in the spare room of Anteiku, the blinds were closed which made the room dark, the only light coming in from the open doorway. Suzuya felt like he was getting to used to being in this room and this same bed.

"I'll get you those painkillers." Kaneki stood up from where he had been sitting at Suzuyas side.

"No." Suzuya reached out to grab Kanekis sleeve. "I don't need it. I can't feel the pain." He tried to explain.

"It'll get painful soon, Juuzou..." Kaneki sat back down on the edge of the bed.

"No." The dove shook his head. "I can't feel it." He let out a small sigh. "Okay...you asked me who big madam was, right?" Kaneki nodded in confusion, not sure how relate to this was. "She was a ghoul who kidnapped me when I was young." He held his hand up when Kaneki opened his mouth to speak. "I was her pet...and she made me perform for other ghouls and I became a scrapper in a restaurant. I used to hate killing those people, but I just got used to it and now killing is just a normal thing...and she would give me good boy points for how well I did."

"H-How-" Kaneki started, before Suzuya put a finger to his lips.

"Depending on how many good boy points I got, I received and award. She used to torture me...and..." He shook his head. "Anyway, I can't feel pain anymore." He moved his finger from Kanekis lips.

"What happened?" Kaneki asked quietly.

"The CCG raided the restaurant and Shinohara found me...I don't know what happened to big madam though." Suzuya shrugged. "She was like my mother...and I don't wish bad things on her..."

Kaneki looked at Suzuya sympathetically. "Juuzou...I'm sorry." He gently took the blondes hand in his own. "I'm sorry you were treated like that...and that you were taken from your family. It must have been hard growing up around ghouls."

"The CCG is my family now and after being brought up with ghouls I have now sympathy for them." Suzuya squeezed Kanekis hand gently.

Kaneki looked down for a moment. 'I can never tell him what I am.' He decided, knowing it would be the end of what they had together. "You should stay here for a few days and we can look after you. Your leg was pretty bad...I'm surprised you could even stand with that leg, the muscles were ripped terribly..."

Suzuya pulled down the bed sheets to reveal his thighs, one with the bandage wrapped around it and the other with red stitched sewn around and down the leg. "I'm glad it wasn't my other leg, it would be a pain to stitch it again." The blonde said softly, brushing his fingers over the bandage.

Kaneki blushed faintly, trying to take his eyes off Suzuya. The blonde was in his vest and boxer shorts and Kaneki couldn't help but let his eyes follow the red thread down the blondes body, it was almost as if it were meant to be tempting. Suzuya moved Kanekis hand to rest on his thigh. "I can see where you're looking, Kaneki-Kun." Kaneki let his fingers run over the thread, tracing the stitch pattern, noticing how cold the doves skin was to the touch.

"Juuzou...I...you're beautiful." Kaneki stumbled over his words, blushing a deeper shade of red when he thought of how cliche his words were. "Can I? Uh..." At this point Suzuya was a matching shade of red. 'Stop it, Rei, stop it, stop it, stop it. You can't fall for him. You can't be...' Suzuya thought, but nodded at Kanekis unfinished question. The two of them took a moment to look at one another, their faces faintly lit by the light coming throb the open door. Kaneki leaned closer and gently connected his lips with Suzuyas, the warmth of the blondes lips relaxing him. The kiss was short, but it felt right almost like they fitted perfectly together.

'I can't believe this is happening. Can I really take this risk?' Kaneki asked himself as he slowly pulled away. His heart started to beat faster as he looked in to Suzuyas deep red eyes. 'I think I would risk anything for him.'

'No, no, no, no, no. Shinohara will be so disappointed and so will bid madam. I can't be feeling this for a suspect. Maybe he isn't a ghoul...he's human, he has to be.'   
  
"Kaneki..." Suzuya spoke softly, pulling Kaneki closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, it means the world to me! 
> 
> (Tumblr: Juuzou-Rei)


	9. Just One Bite

 

Kaneki was sat on his knees, between Suzuyas legs, the blonde looking up nervously at him. He could understand the nerves, since this was the most intimate they had been, though he didn't know the ongoing debate in Suzuyas head. 'I can't let him get so close. I don't want this.' The dove thought as he closed his eyes. 'But...I do want this. I want him to like me and I want to be closer to him, but...what if he is a ghoul? If he is, I can't let my feelings get in the way.' He felt a finger on his chin, gently raising his head as he opened his eyes to look at Kaneki once again.

"What are you thinking about?" The waiter asked, even in the dark the concern on his face was clear. After a few minutes of further silence, he knew he wasn't going to get an answer. "Juuzou...I'm sorry I kissed you." He apologised, thinking that's what the dove was thinking so hard about, however small frown forming on Suzuyas face told him otherwise.

"I wanted you to." Suzuya eventually replied, breaking the silence that had fallen in the room. "Kaneki...I don't know what I'm doing. I have these feelings and I shouldn't, I should be focusing on my job...'

Kaneki gently placed his hands on Suzuyas shoulders. "Juuzou...you can't let your job consume your life, everyone needs to have life outside work. Right here you're Juuzou Suzuya, not a CCG investigator. I don't want you to feel like you're being pressured, but I know what my feelings are for you." He felt Suzuyas arms slowly wrapping around his wait, pulling him to lay down on his chest.

"I don't know if I can do this..." The dove admitted. "But I want to try." He said with a small smile, brushing the tip of his nose against Kanekis, feeling the waiters heart beating against his chest. "But if we do this...we need to be completely honest with each other, nothing to hide." He added, hoping that if Kaneki was a ghoul he would back out now.

"Nothing to hide." Kaneki agreed, making Suzuya noticeably relax, moving a hand to caress the blondes cheek. Suzuya gave a small nod and closed his eyes as he softly kissed Kaneki, getting rid of all the space that had been left between them. Kaneki felt his heart beat increase as Suzuyas smooth lips were once again on his own, the doves sweet smell getting stronger as the kiss went on. Kaneki felt himself starting to fight his ghoul instincts, pulling from the kiss to rest his chin on the crook of Suzuyas neck. He could hear the blonde humming happily, unaware that Kaneki was fighting to keep his kagune inside.

"I really like kissing you, Kaneki-kun." Suzuya whispered. Kaneki licked his lips, muttering a "me too." as he softly kissed at the doves neck, before grazing his teeth against the pale skin. 'Just one bite...one small bite. He smells so good, I need to try him.' The waiters mind encouraged, as he chose a spot on Suzuyas neck to gently nibble. 'Bite him, bite him! Eat him!' As he started to put pressure on Suzuyas neck, he heard a small giggle, breaking his train of thoughts and stopping him from letting his teeth break the skin.

"Kaneki, that tickles." Suzuya said through a small laugh, his fingers going to tangle in Kanekis hair. 'Of course, it wouldn't even hurt him if I took a bite, he wouldn't know until it's too late!' Kaneki continued to think, the familiar metallic taste of blood in his mouth as he quickly realised he had pierced the skin.

'I can't eat him...what am I doing?' He pulled his mouth from the doves neck, seeing a small bruise forming and a smear of blood. A small whine in protest came from the teen beneath him, though Kaneki was sure that if Suzuya was aware of what was happened he would not want it to continue.

"Kaneki, please..." Suzuya whined, his vest top falling from one of his shoulders, making it all too tempting for Kaneki. The ghoul gave in and reconnected his lips with the doves, kissing him rougher and more desperately than before. The cut on Suzuyas lip started to bleed, satisfying Kanekis need, but he soon pulled away. "I should go..." He said breathlessly, looking down at Suzuya. The doves lips were read and bloody, just like the mark on his neck. Kaneki almost felt proud that he had managed to pull back, but worried that now he had a taste for the blonde and he couldn't deny the taste was good.

Kaneki pulled away to sit up. "I should let you rest. Yoshimura wouldn't be happy if he knew I was keeping you up." Suzuya pouted sadly, holding on to Kanekis sleeves, making the ghoul smile. "I'll come and see you in the morning and we can do whatever you want." He promised, eventually managing to pry himself from Suzuyas grip, moving to stand next to the bed. "Get some sleep." He leaned down to press a small kiss to the doves forehead.

"Goodnight, Kaneki-Kun." The blonde beamed, settling down in the bed.

"Goodnight, Juuzou." Kaneki smiled and headed out of the room, leaving the door open a little.

* * *

  
Kaneki entered the cafe, his eyes tired from a night of next to no sleep. He dragged his feet across the floor, until he made it to the front counter, slumping down on to a stool.

"You look like crap." He heard Touka say with slight concern.

"She's right. What were you doing last night?" Nishiki joined in, though Kaneki was too exhausted to appreciate their worry. "Oh wait, isn't your human upstairs? Did you have too much fun playing doctor?" Nishiki grinned.

Kaneki looked around to make sure no customers were in, before he sighed deeply. "I wanted to eat him...I tried." Touka and Nishiki exchanged a glance, before standing in front of Kaneki.

"You tried to eat him and he's still here? He didn't try to kill you?" Nishiki asked.

"I bit him and I could taste him, but I had to stop before I got carried away." Kaneki admitted, looking down at the counter in front of him. "He didn't notice...or I hope he didn't, but it's only a matter of time before he looks in a mirror and sees what I did to him."

"But you've been able to control yourself so far. What happened?" Touka asked, as she set a cup of coffee down in front of Kaneki, receiving a small thank you as the ghoul took the cup in to his hands.

"We were...kissing and he just smelt so good and then I just couldn't help but bite him...his bloods so sweet." Kaneki clenched the cup in his hand. "I've never been that close to him and it was almost overwhelming. How can I be with him if I want to eat him?"

"Kaneki, I had the same thing with Kimi, but after biting her that one time I was satisfied and the urge doesn't usually come up anymore. We're ghouls though, this happens." Nishiki explained. "The more you get used to his scent, then you should be able to control yourself more."

The ghouls all went silent as the back door opened, a sleepy Suzuya stepping into the cafe as he let out a small yawn. He was still dressed in his vest top and boxers, the bandages still nice and clean.

"Juuzou." Kaneki immediately perked up. "You shouldn't be walking on that leg yet, you should go back upstairs." He tried to tell the dove, but with wasted breath, as Suzuya came to sit next to him.

"I told you I can't feel it. What's the point in laying around when I can walk easily." Suzuya took the cup from in front of Kaneki and took a sip of the coffee.

"That's not the point. It needs time to heal, without the strain of you trying to walk. You should go back to bed." Kaneki said a little too bluntly, as he took the cup of coffee off Suzuya, trying to keep himself from looking at the other teens bruised neck and lips. He was certain if he looked, he wouldn't be able to control himself again. There was no doubt that without his eyepatch on, his eye would certainly be out of control now.

"Oh." The dove nodded and hopped off the stool, padding back to the door.

"Hey, Kaneki, your boy has a rather nice mark on his neck, don't you think?" Nishiki snickered, noticing the blush appearing on both the waiter and the dove.

"Leave it, Nishio." Kaneki groaned in embarrassment, as Suzuya went back throw the door to go upstairs.

"That was a little harsh of you, Kaneki." Touka pointed out, finding Kanekis behaviour unusual.

"He needs to be more careful. This is the second time he's been injured badly and he doesn't care. I don't like hearing about his fights with ghouls and I don't like him being hurt." Kaneki sighed. "I want to protect him, but I can't even protect him from me."

"Oh, stop being so dramatic. You're not helping yourself or him by moping around. Just go upstairs and tell the guy you love that you're sorry." Touka huffed, rolling her eyes. Kaneki opened his mouth to protest, but instead stood up and headed the same way Suzuya had gone.

* * *

  
"Juuzou?" Kaneki knocked on the guest room door. "Juuzou, I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just want you to look after yourself." Kaneki stood in silence for a moment, before the door opened a little, Suzuyas large red eye peering through the slot.

"I do look after myself. You said we could do whatever I wanted to and I wanted to come and see you." The dove mumbled, making Kaneki sigh and lean his head against the door.

"I'm sorry. I just worry about so much. I know how much you love hunting ghouls and if your leg gets infected you could lose it...then your recovery will be even longer. Just please don't walk too much for now?" He pleaded.

"Okay." Suzuya agreed, opening the door when Kaneki was no longer leaning on it. "I'll be careful." He held his hand out to Kaneki, which the waiter happily took, before leading him in to the room. Kaneki closed the door behind him, before carefully pulling Suzuya into his arms.

"Juuzou, you have no idea how much you mean to me." He still felt awful for having wanted to eat the dove, but he had taken Nishiki and Toukas words in and understood that he was just getting used to being around Suzuya and hopefully he would get used to it.

Kaneki placed his hands on the small of Suzuyas back, letting his fingers travel under the material of the doves vest top, feeling the soft skin underneath. He rested his chin on Suzuyas shoulder, attempting to control himself.

"Kaneki-Kun?" Suzuya asked quietly, not used to this kind of contact and affection.

"Are you okay? I won't do anything that you're uncomfortable with, I just need to be close to you." Kaneki wasn't sure if that was the romantic side of him talking or the ghoul.

Suzuya gave a small nod, pulling away from Kaneki. "I should go to work today. Shinohara will be worried." Kaneki sighed in frustration at this.

"Juuzou, what did we just agree? You can't go to work, why don't you just call him?" Kaneki took the doves hand and took him over to the bed, gesturing for him to sit down. Once the blonde had complied and sat in his bed, Kaneki went to open the blinds, letting in the sun light.

"I suppose I could call him, but I've never not turned up before...apart from being late." Suzuya knew that the only time he wouldn't turn up for work was if he was dead, so Shinohara would definitely be worried. "I'll call later though." He decided.

Kaneki accepted Suzuyas choice, going to sit with him on the bed. "Do you want something to eat? I can go get something for you." Kaneki figured it had been a while since Suzuya had eared and he felt bad for taking the coffee off of him earlier.

"No, I'm okay for now." Suzuya smiled, moving so that he could lay his head in Kanekis lap, looking up at him. "I just want to be here with you." Kaneki smiled and gently stroked Suzuyas hair, letting his fingers intertwine with the soft blond strands.

"Juuzou, I know we've only been on one date, but would you...want to make this more than just dating?" Kaneki asked nervously.

"Kaneki-" as Suzuya went to reply, the door slammed open and Touka stood in the doorway.

"Kaneki, the manager needs to see you right now!" She demanded.

"I'm sorry, Juuzou, I'll come back soon and we can talk." Kaneki apologised, before get lay moving Suzuya off his lap so that he could go with Touka.

"Oh, okay..." Suzuya said to an empty room, laying down as he waited for Kaneki to come back.

* * *

  
"We'll take the bandages off first and have a look at how well it's healed, then we can see about getting you up and walking again." The manager informed Suzuya, as he carefully started to unravel the bandage on the doves thigh.

"Is Kaneki here? He hasn't come to see me for days." Suzuya asked, receiving a shake of the head in return. His shoulders slumped, as he let out a tiny sound of disappointment.

"He's out doing some errands at the moment, he'll be back later." Yoshimura put the bandages aside and inspected the wound, seeing It had healed significantly well even though Suzuya had been trying to walk on it numerous times. "It's scarred quite a bit, but it should fade in time. It's remarkable how much it's healed, though we won't know about the muscles until we get you on your feet." Suzuya nodded, tracing his finger along the jagged scar on his thigh.

"Thank you. I'll be more careful in future." Suzuya said with a small smile.

"I'll get someone to take you back home today." The manager took the bandages and headed to the door.

"Wait..." Suzuya quickly spoke up, getting the managers attention. "I'll call Shinohara and see if he can take me home." The manager gave a nod and left the room.

Once he was by himself, Suzuya moved his legs over the edge of the bed and grabbed his clothes from where they were folded on the bedside table. He took a little longer than usual to get his trousers on, finding the injured leg was weaker than it had been before. "Let's go home, Rei." He slipped his feet into his slippers and stood up, taking a few steps to test the strength off his leg, the limb shook a little but wouldn't be completely impossible to walk on.

Suzuya left Anteiku, quickly waving goodbye to the staff before they could say anything, and he started to head to work. Pulling out his phone he dialled Kanekis number, getting the message tone straight away. "Hi, Kaneki-Kun! I just got released from Anteiku and I'm going to work now. I know I'm meant to wait, but Shinoharas been telling me about a large operation going on and I have to go see what it is! I'll talk to you soon, bye bye!" He ended the call and put his phone into his pocket. He really liked Kaneki, but the teen had been disappearing a lot lately so they hadn't even had the chance to talk about what they were to each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> Also thank you to the anon on tumblr, it was very encouraging to receive your message and it's lovely hearing from readers~
> 
> (This was just some stuff before I go to work, but another chapter will be up tomorrow since I have the day off!)


	10. Dove in Love

"Juuzou...I want to be with you." Kaneki took hold of Suzuyas hands, the cold air of the night revealing both of their quickened breaths.

Kaneki had messaged Suzuya to meet him outside Anteiku, where they had then started to wander around the ward. It had felt like there was too much unsaid between them and Kaneki couldn't stand the thought of them growing apart, so he had taken it into his hands to sort their situation out. They had found themselves wandering through a dark park, lit up dimly by single street lamp. The glow of the light highlighted Suzuyas smiling face, the dove looking the most happy Kaneki had seen him.

"You do?" Suzuya asked, looking into Kanekis eyes for any sign of doubt though he couldn't find any.

"I know it's only been a short time since we met, but I've never known anyone like you, Juuzou. You're the strangest guy and I'm sure I'll never completely know you, but I want to spend all my time with you. I want you to be mine." Kaneki looked at the dove nervously.

"I..." Suzuya waited for a voice in his head to tell him that this was wrong, but for once it seemed that his thoughts weren't going to get in the way. "I want that too." He said with a breath, before being pulled in to an embrace.

That night Kaneki invited Suzuya to stay at his apartment, not wanting the evening to end. The two entered the building, Kaneki leading the dove to his door. The apartment was nicely simple, an open sort of style with a separate room for the bathroom. The two of them got rid of their footwear and jackets before they settled on the sofa, putting on a random film as they laid down together, Kaneki wrapping his arm around the doves waist to hold him against his chest. "I've wanted this for a really long time." The waiter whispered.

"Me too." Suzuya smiled, paying more attention to the fact he was being held by Kaneki than watching the film. "It's nice to be together without anyone else around."

Around an hour into the film Kaneki heard Suzuyas breathing deepen. "Juuzou?" He asked quietly, brushing the blonde strands from Suzuyas face. He couldn't help but to smile when he realised the dove was asleep, not wanting to risk waking him up, Kaneki decided to stay on the sofa with his boyfriend. "Goodnight, Juuzou." He gently pressed a kiss to the doves head. "I think...I love you." He felt his heart pounding as the words came out knowing Suzuya wouldn't hear, before he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

Kaneki woke up to large red eyes looking back at him, surprising him for a moment before he realised that Suzuya had spent the night. He couldn't help but smile when he thought of how the dove had fallen asleep in his arms. Last night had been something he wanted for a while, though after his attempted date with Rize he had been certain relationships wouldn't be this easy for a ghoul.

* * *

 

"Morning, a Kaneki-Kun." Suzuya spoke with a yawn, sitting up to stretch out his back and arms. "I don't remember falling asleep last night." He mumbled in confusion, putting s finger to his lips. "Did I not make it through the film." Kaneki grinned and shook his head.

"You fell asleep before it finished and I didn't want to move you, you looked so cute and peaceful." Kaneki told the blonde, making him blush faintly. Suzuya laid back down to nuzzle against Kanekis chest, feeling himself being held gently. In his head Suzuya still wasn't sure if this would last or if he would be able to always return Kanekis feelings, but this right here was perfect for him.

"You know, after being raised by a ghoul and then put in the CCG orphanage until I was sixteen, I didn't realise how alone I was until now." Suzuya admitted softly, causing Kaneki to frown. The waiter couldn't help but think that if Suzuya ever found out about him, the dove would reject him completely and possible put this down to Kaneki using him. It made him feel sick to think of Suzuya hating him. 'I should've thought this through.' Kaneki mentally scolded himself.

"Come on, you, we should get up." He gently nudged Suzuya, receiving a small groan in protest. "I'd love to stay here all day, but we can't." Kaneki gently shifted Suzuya into his lap, sting them both up. "I have to get to work today." Suzuya whined in response, but nodded in understanding.

"Okay, but can I use your shower?" The dove asked sleepily, still not completely awake.

"You can." Kaneki carefully picked Suzuya up, carrying him towards the bathroom. "There are clean towels in there and you can use any of my stuff. If you're lucky breakfast will be waiting for you when you're done." He set Suzuya down in the bathroom and closed the door as he left.

"Right, breakfast..." It felt like a lifetime since he had made a meal, so he stuck with making some simple pancakes, hoping that would be the easiest for him to try and stomach. 'I don't know if I can do this every meal...I don't know what I'm going to do without him finding out.' He thought, as he heard the shower turning on and Suzuyas soft humming coming from the bathroom.

Once the pancakes were made, he played up some for himself and some for Suzuya, before setting them down on the table. As he made two cups of coffee, he heard the shower turning off and a couple of minutes late Suzuya appears from the bathroom. Kaneki took a moment to take in the look of his boyfriend, the dove with his wet hair in a slicked back style from the water and dressed simply in his shirt and boxers. Kaneki sat down at the table, not taking his eyes off the blonde.

"Your showers nice." Suzuya commented, aware he was being stared at. "Oh, pancakes!" He excitedly sat down opposite Kaneki and immediately started to eat, barely noticing that Kaneki only took a few small bites.

When breakfast was over, Kaneki stood up and walked over to Suzuya. "I've got to go get ready, I'll be back soon." He gently kissed Suzuyas forehead, before heading to use the bathroom. In the shower he let him mind wonder from how nice it was to finally be with Suzuya to what the consequences could be. He hoped by now that if Suzuya found out he would at least hesitate to kill him. After shaking the thoughts from his head he stepped out the shower and went to grab a towel to dry himself when he noticed Suzuyas red hair clips on the sink. He smiled to himself and got dressed, grabbing the clips as he exited the bathroom. "I suppose these belong to you." He said, before realising Suzuya wasn't at the table anymore. "Juuzou?" He asked, looking around until his eyes landed on his bed where the dove was curled up. He smiled endearingly and walked over to the bed. "You can stay here as long as you like,but I really have to go now. I can't be late or I'm sure Touka will kill me." He joked with a small laugh, placing the red hair clips next to his boyfriend. "I'll see you later." He brushed Suzuyas cheek softly with his thumb, before heading to the door.

That evening Kaneki came back to a note from Suzuya which read:

'Kaneki,  
I got called into work for some meeting, so I had to go. I'll see you when I see you!

Love, Juuzou'

Kanekis eyes lingered on the last two words. "Love, Juuzou?" He repeated the word in his head, wondering if it meant what he thought. "Does he feel the same? No...its just a note...he can't..."

* * *

  
It had been almost a month since Suzuya had last seen his boyfriend, though he had received messages from Kaneki explaining how sorry he was for being busy and that they could see each other soon, the only problem was that when spine of them was free the other was too busy. The hours at work were overwhelming lately, he didn't have time to get to Anteiku, or that was what he had convinced himself, subconsciously believing that maybe he didn't want to go there. Although he knew they're feelings for each other were very real, he knew that this wasn't anyway for a relationship to start.

The CCG had gotten a lead on a group of ghouls who were set up in ward 20 and had been consuming a large amount of civilians. He knew there must be ghouls all over the place, but it was cases like this that seemed to make ghouls turn on each other; some ghouls liked to only eat what they needed, so not to draw attention, however any that killed for fun would gain the attention of the CCG.

They apprehended the group without much of a problem, seeing as they were held up in a convenience store, an easy business to be able to kill civilians in. The dove had been told off for not staying with his group and he was told he would never advance until he learnt how the CCG operated. It seemed both the CCG and Shinohara did not approve of his fighting style.

"You need to be more careful next time, Juuzou. If someone in the team goes down you need to be there for them and if that person were you...we would need to know where you were to help you." Shinohara tried to explain, though he knew Suzuya would only learn in time, he just hoped there wouldn't be any grave consequences. They were stood outside of the store, Suzuya covered in blood after he had ran in without a second thought, slaying every ghoul in sight. Shinohara let out a sigh. "I wish you would be more careful. If you listen to your orders everything will be fine."

"I know." Suzuya mumbled in response. Keeping himself from saying how boring the CCGs style was. He had refrained from informing Shinohara of his and Kanekis relationship.

"Anyway, we're certain this isn't the only group in the area, so we're going to continue with our search...but for now I recommend that you go home and rest up." Shinohara patted his partners shoulder. "We've gone a long boring day of paper work tomorrow."

Suzuya groaned. "I hate it when we have to do paper work." He often wished they could just do all of the fighting and leave the paper work to someone who cared.

"We wouldn't have to do as much if you followed the operation plan. We have to explain why it all went wrong. Now go on home, I need to discuss things back at work." Suzuya could tell that Shinohara was disappointed in him, so he nodded and headed off.

* * *

 

Suzuya sang quietly to himself as he wandered through the streets, deciding not to go home straight away. The sun was shining and the sky was so clear, it seemed silly to go home now, though he probably should have gone to change his clothes. People around him looked at him as though he had just caused a massacre...which in some way he had, but for the safety of the public. He was certain that if it were any other CCG investigator people would be thanking him, but his appearance was the last thing people seemed to associate with being an investigator.

As he looked around, he spotted a familiar mess of black hair down the street. "Kaneki?" He whispered to himself, before running towards the other male. "Kaneki!" The dove hurled in to the figure, wrapping his arms around him tightly. The dark haired teen jumped in surprise, tensing a little at the contact.

"Juuzou?" A wave of relief washed over Suzuya when he heard the familiar voice, it was indeed Kaneki.

"Kaneki we don't have time for your girlfriend. Say goodbye and hurry up." An unfamiliar man with white hair came in to view, a less than amused look on his face. He was carrying a large bag, one that someone would usually need for sport equipment or camping.

"Yomo, this is-" Kaneki began, before Suzuya cut him off.

"Suzuya Juuzou, it's nice to meet you." He beamed with a smile, leaning over Kanekis should, still keeping hold of him. This only received a sigh from the older man, who turned away and started to walk.

"Kaneki, we need to go now." The male called back.

"Juuzou, what are you doing here?" Kaneki asked, as Suzuyas hold loosened. He turned to face the dove, noticing the blood covered appearance. "And why are you covered in blood again?"

"I missed you. We never got to say bye properly, because you didn't come back and you're always busy." Suzuya looked down at himself. "Oh, I just finished work. We took down a group of ghouls and it got messy."

Kanekis stomach turned at the thought of all the ghouls that had been killed. "You left before I had a chance to come and see you. I'm sorry I've been busy lately, but I guess we both just don't have much time on our hands, it doesn't mean I want to be with you any less though. I really have to go, Juuzou...come by the cafe later?" He looked at the dove apologetically.

"Okay...I'll see you later then." Juuzou watched as Kaneki followed in the direction of the white haired man, waiting for him to look back. "...Kaneki-Kun."

Yomo glanced at Kaneki disapprovingly. "What was that about?" He asked, once Kaneki was beside him again.

"Juuzou's my friend...or more than that really...my boyfriend. He's part of the CCG." Kaneki admitted.

"He's CCG?" Yomo sounded slightly aggravated. "When we're carrying bodies in our bags, you can't stop to talk to anyone, especially a ghoul hunter, Kaneki." The waiter nodded, understanding Yomos concern. The two of them carried the bags back to Anteiku, taking them down to the basement.

* * *

  
Suzuya stood at the door of Anteiku, taking a breath before going in. There were hardly any customer inside and Kaneki wasn't in sight, so he went to sit at a stool in front of the counter. He ordered a coffee from the waiter and a piece of cake. 'Why am I sad, Rei?' He thought, not understanding how he could feel so happy to be with Kaneki, but sad that they didn't have time for each other. When the cake and coffee were placed in front of him, he looked up and thanked the waiter.

"Suzuya, right?" The waiter asked. "Nishiki." The man introduced himself. "I've seen you here a few times, although you usually have some sort of injury."

"It's nice to meet you, Nishiki." Suzuya handed the waiter the money he owed. "Yeah, I guess that happens a lot. Is Kaneki in?" He asked, taking a sip of his coffee before humming contently.

"He's in the basement, though his shift ends soon if you want to wait." Nishiki put the money in the register. "I can go and tell him your here." He offered, but Suzuya shook his head.

"Thanks, I'll wait." He started to eat his cake, as Nishiki nodded and went to serve other customers. It was almost an hour later and Suzuya had downed three cups of coffee and two more pieces of cake. He had been assured by Nishiki that Kaneki would be done any minute, so Suzuya waited patiently, pulling at the thread on his lip. A few minutes later his phone started to buzz. "Hmm, I wonder who's calling." He answered and held the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Juuzou! I've been trying to call you all day." Shinoharas voice came down from the other end. He sounded unusually worried.

"Shinohara-San! Are you bored?" Suzuya asked, since Shimohara didn't often call unless he was just checking up on his partner. Whilst he was on the phone, Kaneki came through the back door, simile get brightly when he saw Suzuya. The waiter came to sit next to him, waiting for him to finish his conversation.

"No, Juuzou. A little while ago I discussed my concerns over Anteiku with Marude and he decided to further the investigation. We've determined that there is some kind of ghoul organisation at Anteiku, possibly belonging to the Owl. Yoshitoki Washuu has given his orders for a raid. I know you have a friend there, but don't go to him, if there are ghouls then you'll be in danger. I need you to come in so we can discuss our parts in the raid." Suzuya froze for a moment, not quite believing what Shinohara was saying. He ended the call and placed his phone back into his pocket, before getting up and rushing out of Anteiku. 'No, they can't! They're not ghouls, Kaneki isn't...' His mind ranted as he ran.

"Juuzou!" Kaneki called after him, unsure of what had just caused Suzuya to act so strangely.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This took a little while to write, because I really wanted to get this chapter up, but I also feel as though I should've developed their relationship further? I don't know.
> 
> I think I'm definitely going to have to write some more Kaneki/Suzuya fics.
> 
> Anyway, in the next chapter, I'm going to incorporate the Anteiku raid, but it's not going to follow what actually happened because obviously I need to include Kaneki and Suzuya interaction and I don't want the raid to be such a large scale thing. 
> 
> Again, thank you!
> 
> (Tumblr: Juuzou-Rei)


	11. Death of the Dove

"Kaneki, I'm afraid I can't allow you to see him anymore." Yoshimura had called Kaneki to his office. After hearing about the CCGs plans, he couldn't allow Kaneki to be at risk. "The CCG have been investigating us, as you know, and in time they will come for us. This...Suzuya, I doubt he will need anything else from you and I suggest you stay loyal to your friends here. We're going to need you when the time comes."

Kaneki sat opposite Yoshimura, feeling his heart in his stomach. He had been waiting for Suzuya to contact him, but now he was being told not to see him. The two of them had only just managed to admit their feelings and now it was over. "How long do we have?" He was tired of arguing that his relationship with Suzuya meant a lot more than gaining information from each other.

"It could be anywhere from a couple of months to several. They think we're a major organisation, so they'll need this carefully planned and approved. In the mean time, this allows us to prepare. When the time comes, only myself, Irami and Koma will be here when the time comes. Yomo has arranged a place for Touka and Hinami to live until the time passes, depending on how things go it is likely they will stay there. The others will remain in their homes and do what they please. I ask that you also do not get involved." Yoshimura explained.

"You want me to...not do anything? What about needing me when the time comes?" Kaneki frowned in confusion.

"I will need you to pick up the pieces when this is all over. Be there for the others." Yoshimura cleared his throat before continuing. "I also feel that you may be emotionally compromised due to your relationship with the investigator."

Kaneki nodded in understanding. "Of course. I'll do what I can..." He stood up. "Thank you...for everything, Sir." He bowed and went to exit the office. He had taken in everything Yoshimura had said, but there was no way he was going to sit on the side lines whilst his friends risked their lives. He took his phone out of his pocket, looking down at a message he received:

From Juuzou <3

Kaneki, I'm sorry I ran out yesterday. I got an important call from Shinohara and I had to leave. I really need to see you soon.

Kaneki smiled at the message, but it broke his heart knowing that he shouldn't reply. He needed to take that part of Yoshimuras advice, he needed to distance himself from Suzuya otherwise his emotions would compromise him when the raid came. In the end it would be better for them both.

* * *

  
A month later Kaneki was still torn over not talking to Suzuya. He had received various voice messages, a lot of them were Suzuya rambling about his day, Kaneki thought it was to make things feel normal like they were still okay. Sometimes the messages sounded sad, Suzuya repeating the words 'I'm sorry' over and over. More than once Kaneki Had almost accepted the phone call, not feeling able to listen to Suzuyas broken pleas.

Text From Juuzou <3:

Kaneki...Please talk to me. I haven't seen you for a month. I need...I just need something from you to know we're okay.

Text From Juuzou:

I'm really sorry. I imagine you've found out about the investigation...I don't think you or your friends are ghouls, but you need to understand that we have to go through with this.

Text From Juuzou:

It's been three months. I guess you're not going going to answer me. I thought I should tell you that the raid is final. All the plans are sorted and we have everyone organised...We're closing Anteiku in a couple of months. It's meant to be a surprise attack, but I'm sure it isn't.

Kaneki sighed as he read the text. It definitely wasn't a surprise attack, Yoshimura already organised with his defence and both Touka and Hinami had moved out to their secret place. It felt like his new family were falling apart and he couldn't do anything about it.

* * *

  
'Dear Kaneki,

I've been trying to call you and send you messages...I guess you either haven't gotten them or you just don't want to talk to me. I haven't heard from you for five months...sometimes I go down to Anteiku hoping that I'll walk through the door and give me that smile that just makes me feel at home. The thing is...you're not there...you're not anywhere, where have you gone? I can't go back there anymore, I know that they all know what's going to happen and I can't risk being there.  
For as long as I can remember I've found it hard letting myself get close to someone, but you came in and just made me feel safe, like I could give all of myself to you...and then you disappear.   
And I suppose that's why I'm writing this, because...I want to be with Kaneki, I love you. I wasn't sure at first, but the lover we've been apart, the surer I am that I love you. I hope you loved me.

I never wanted to tell you like this, but I can't find you. You don't have to see me again, because after five months of silence, I got the message. It's over. You made me feel everything and then took it away.

Your Juuzou.'

"Five months already? It feels like yesterday since I last saw him. I'm sorry sorry Juuzou." Kaneki folded up the letter and placed it under his pillow. He knew the raid would be coming any day now and all he could do was sit and wait. He had tried to distract himself by hanging out with Hide and visiting Touka and Hinami, but nothing took his mind off what was coming.

* * *

 

Suzuya looked down at the piece of paper in his hands. "Testamentary note." He mumbled to himself. A few weeks ago his last words would have been dedicated to Kaneki, to tell him how much he loved him and how he would fight to make sure he could see the black haired teen again. However, having not heard from the waiter, he was no longer sure his words would mean anything to him. Now he didn't have anything to say to anyone.

He knelt on the roof top of the CCG building, finding it easier to think whilst being on his own. It was late at night and the streets were all brightly lit from shops and street lamps. It was strange how the city could become so alive at night, especially when soon all anyone will be able to hear is gun fire.

He folded his paper into an airplane and gently threw it away from him, watching it glide across the street below him, until it was no longer visible. "It doesn't matter if I die." He reminded himself. "It never did."

Kaneki was stood in an abandoned building, the glass in the window frames was completely shattered and most of the ceiling had come down. He wasn't sure if he was prepared for the Anteiku raid, knowing his friends would be there in the battle. He wanted to keep them all safe, but now it was clear that hadn't worked. The CCG had always been a threat to them, but they could handle a couple of investigators at a time, however a whole load of them seemed nearly impossible to defeat.

He looked down at the ground, standing in the empty window pain, feeling a soft breeze coming in. A piece of paper drifted to his feet, shaped like an airplane. Curiously he bent down and picked the paper up, unfolding part of it gently.

"Juuzou Suzuya." He read out load, the name making his chest ache. "This is meant to be his last words?" He asked himself as he unfolded the rest of the paper, seeing that only one word had been written. "Kaneki..." He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to hold back his emotions. "His last words were to me and he couldn't finish it."

Kaneki had received all of Suzuyas letters, every single one, and it had broken his heart to not reply. He had to keep Suzuya safe and that had meant no contact, though Kaneki had hoped when this was all over they could still be together, but it seemed Suzuya had given up hope. "I'm such a fool." He muttered. "I knew this would happen and I still let it." He knew they would both be fighting for separate causes, so Kaneki couldn't help but worry for Suzuyas safety. "Just please don't be there tomorrow."

* * *

  
Juuzou held his quinque tightly, his mind almost completely distracted from the task at hand. "Suzuya?" He heard faintly, when the voice repeated his name, he suddenly realised it was Shinohara trying to get his attention. He broke out of his thoughts, looking to his partner. "Suzuya, you've been distracted lately...your head needs to be in this otherwise you'll get hurt." Shinohara warned.

"I know. I'll be fine, Shinohara-San." Suzuya smiled. He was ready for this, he knew how dangerous the one eyed owl was meant to be and that they were all risking their lives, though he felt this was the case anytime they went against ghouls.

"Good. I'm going to take you, Kuroiwa, Houji, and Ui to Anteiku. We believe that's where the Owl will be." Shinohara explained, signalling for his group to head off.

* * *

  
Kaneki could hear gun fire the desperate cries of those being taken down. It sounded like complete mayhem, though there was no telling whether the CCG or Anteiku had the upper hand. He clenched his fists, before putting his mask on. After taking a deep breath he started to head in the direction of Anteiku, knowing he needed to help out whoever was still standing. He hoped that he wouldn't run in to Suzuya, because he was certain that even with his mask the dove would know it was him. He also couldn't bare the thought of fighting the guy he cared so much about.   
He ran down a side street, before turning down the road that Anteiku was on. As he made it closer, he saw the Owl...Yoshimura who was surrounded by a group of CCG investigators. He watched in horror as each dove took a turn to attack the Owl, every so often managing to amputate part of his kagune off. Kaneki started to run towards them.

"Suzuya!" Kaneki heard one of the men shout, stopping him in his tracks. This man looked familiar, from a distance Kaneki could just about tell that it was Suzuyas partner Shinohara. Kaneki watched as his boyfriend...well ex boyfriend cam running towards the group, carrying a huge quinque. He had never seen Suzuya in action before and it was in some way surprising so see how ruthless he was towards killing. The young dove leapt in the air as he approached Yoshimura, striking him hard with the quinque. "Juuzou, no..." Kaneki watched as Suzuya hit the Owl repeatedly, before he was soon knocked down on to the floor, making the waiter gasp. He walked closer, needing to see if Suzuya was alright, when he heard someone suddenly call out "The Eyepatch!". Knowing he had been seen, he backed away, seeing Suzuya look up at him.

"I've got this, Shinohara-San!" Suzuya called almost excitedly, pulling himself up off the floor, but Shinohara placed his arm in front of the blonde. "Juuzou, we need you here. I can't let you fight him on your own." The elder said with concern.

"I'll be fine. I can fight any ghoul and be back in time to help you fight the Owl." He replied confidently, receiving a nod from his partner.

"Stay safe for me." Shinohara put his arm down, reluctantly letting his partner go. Suzuya nodded and started to run towards Kaneki, dodging the Owls Kagune.

Kaneki ran, desperately wanting Suzuya to lose him. 'I can't let him near me.' Kaneki panicked and released his kagune to help himself climb a nearby building. Once he reached the top, he was sure he was clear from being followed. "I just need to make sure I've lost him and then I can go help Yoshimura." He told himself, before he felt something stab through his waist. The pain was agonising, feeling worse when he tried to pull the object out. When he finally got the item free, he saw it was a blade...more specifically it was a scorpion, blades that CCG investigators used. He turned around to see Suzuya stood at the other end of the roof top, holding even more blades between his fingers ready to throw, his eyes fixed on Kaneki as he breathed heavily. Kanekis dark red eye looked into Suzuyas, praying that he wouldn't recognise him.

"Let's get this over with, eyepatch. We both know that you'll die and then I'll go and kill all of your friends." Suzuya grinned, Kaneki finding it almost too cruel for anyone to have to hear that. His kagune moved quickly to shield his front, as Suzuya threw the blades from his hand, slashing at the red muscle, but not dealing too much damage. Suzuya frowned, gripping his quinque. "I don't think we've met before. This is Jason and he'll have the pleasure of cutting you into pieces." Suzuya ran towards Kaneki, lifting his quinque as he prepared to slash him.  
Kaneki dodged just in time, leaping over to another building. He turned to see Suzuya attempting the same jump, barely making it across as he slipped and clung to the edge of the roof. Kaneki hesitated for a moment. 'I can't let him know it's me, but if he falls he'll die.'  
Kaneki stepped closer, using his kagune to wrap around Suzuyas waist, before starting to pull him up. Once Suzuyas feet were on the ground, he moved quickly, using Jason to cut off part of Kanekis kagune. The ghoul was taken by surprise and momentarily froze. "J-Juuzou..." He mumbled, as the blonde came at him again, this time Kanekis defences kicked in and he blocked the doves attacks. 'He's not going to stop until he kills me.' Kaneki thought.

"Why did you save me?!" The dove shouted, continuing his series of attacks on the ghoul. He remembered how Amon had spoken of this ghoul and how he seemed different to the others, but saving people...that seemed too strange. An idea came to mind as he cut the ghouls Kagune once more, before backing up to the edge of the building. He willingly let himself fall from the edge, quickly hearing the ghouls footsteps hurry over and the kagune coming over the edge to get him. As he was once again caught safely, he used Jason to cut the tentacle like muscles, before holding on to the edge of the building as his quinque fell from his hands. Kaneki, though in a great deal of pain, grabbed on to Suzuyas wrists with his hands, not wanting to dove to fall. 'You're an idiot, Juuzou. Why couldn't you have stayed out of this fight? Why did you do this?' With all his strength he tried to pull the dove up, until they came face to face and that's when Kaneki knew he had been caught. He could see the look of betrayal on Suzuyas face. Before Kaneki had time to realise what was happening, Suzuya was gone. The ghouls followed quickly, leaping off the building, and landing with a thud in the snow below.

It took a few minutes for both the ghoul and the dove to regain enough strength to stand, both weakened from the fall.  
"You're...a ghoul..." Suzuya spoke brokenly, feeling as though his eyes were betraying him, grabbing his quinque to help him balance his shaking legs.

"Juuzou..." The other make whispered, his heart sinking into his stomach. "I...I'm..." Kaneki began, not sure of how he could explain this.

"No!" The blonde screamed, clenching is eyes shut and shook his head. "I swear, if it's the last thing I do, I'll kill you!" He opened his eyes to glare into the black and red eyes of Kaneki, the eyes he had once been so fond of. Suzuya didn't wait for the young male to respond and quickly ran from the direction he came, hoping Kaneki wouldn't follow. The huge skyscrapers and hidden alleyways offered a fast and easy escape, especially under the cover of night.

When he had ran for as long as his feet could carry him, he leaned his back breathlessly against a building. "Kaneki..." He sighed softly, feeling defeated. "Why did it have to be you?" He closed his eyes, telling himself that he shouldn't be upset, but part of him knew that he had let Kaneki get to him and this was what heartbreak felt like. In the distance he heard faint cries. Immediately alerting him to the fact the raid was still going on. He pulled himself off the wall and headed back in the direction of Anteiku, hoping his team were still there. Just as Suzuya made it around the corner of the street, he saw the limp body of Yoshimura and an even more terrifying ghoul standing by him. The ghoul looked just like the Owl, but also in some ways different. The dove noticed that most of his team weren't standing, only Shinohara was stood ready to fight, but in one swift blow he was taken down. "Shinohara-San!" Suzuya cried as he ran towards them, hearing the ghoul cackle, as it forced its kagune through Shinoharas stomach, swirling it as the man writhed in pain. Suzuya lifted up Jason, ready to hit the new Owl and save his partner, but another tentical came out of nowhere and hit the blonde away. As he lay on the floor, he looked over as his partner stopped struggling and became still. Suzuya let out a scream of anguish and struggled to stand up, his only current motivation was saving Shinihara. He repeatedly ran at the ghoul, hitting it as much as he could, but it seemed to be to no avail as every time he was knocked back. The ghoul continued to laugh as it hit Suzuya away one more time, before it was suddenly hit by someone else's quinque. Suzuya lifted his head from the snow to see Arima was now here.

Kaneki stood on the roof of Anteiku, looking down at the scene in front of him. He had resisted jumping in to fight the Owl, still wanting to protect Suzuya. He took the mask from his face, watching as the white haired man battled the Owl with expertise, whilst Suzuya lay on the ground. "I'm sorry, Juuzou. It wasn't meant to be like this." He thought about what it would be like if the two had never met, if they had simply passed each other by and not thought a thing. Would they still be here?

Suzuya looked over at the bodies of his team, most of them were injured and were being cared for, up but Shinohara was another case. He wasn't dead, like Suzuya had first thought, but he was in a vegetive state to which he would likely never wake up. Suzuya kneeled next to his partner, placing his quinque on the floor. "Shinohara-San." He said softly, his fists clenching as he fought back tears. Shinohara had protected him for so long and it killed that he had been unable to do the same. "If I had stayed...I could have saved you." His mind went to Kaneki, feeling the anger boil inside him. "I swear I'll find the Eyepatch, Shinohara, I'll find him and kill him." Suzuyas eyes closed as he felt tears rolling down his cheeks, feeling ashamed that he had let himself get so distracted from his job and it got his partner killed.

 

* * *

 

Suzuya had gone to visit Shinoharas family, wanting to be the one to tell them and express his regrets. The family had taken it hard, as anyone would have expected, but Suzuya didn't get the anger that he thought he would be greeted with; instead of anger, Shinoharas wife expressed her condolences for Suzuya and told him of how Shinohara thought of him as his own son. Suzuya bowed and said his goodbyes to the family, apologising once more before he left. It wasn't a surprise to him that Shinohara had cared for him, but Suzuya only wished he had realised how much the elder meant to him too.

After visiting the Shinohara family, Suzuya waited for nightfall before going to Kanekis apartment, hoping the ghoul hadn't had the sense to move out. He was filled with rage and the need for revenge, carrying the scorpion blades under his shirt so that a surprise attack would be easier. As he entered the building, he found the familiar door which he had been to once before and knelt down to pick the lock. The lock gave in with ease and allowed him to go in, letting out a small creak when Suzuya closed it behind him. It took a minute before the doves eyes adjusted to the darkness, but he soon saw a figure laying on Kanekis bed. Quietly, Suzuya took out a blade and kept closer to the bed until he was standing over the figure. The moonlight streamed in through the window, falling on to Kanekis face and shimmering off the blade in Suzuyas now raised hand. "This is for Shinohara-San." He whispered, forcing the blade down into the ghouls stomach, erupting a loud cry from the black haired teen.

Kaneki woke to the pain, grabbing at the intruders wrists to stop the from digging the blade in further. When his sleep covered vision cleared, he saw who his attacker was. "Stop, Juuzou!" He cried, as eyes opened, one of them dark and red. Suzuya leapt on top of the ghoul, putting all his weight down on the blade, hearing it cut through Kaneki like butter.

"It's your fault." The blonde muttered angrily, watching Kanekis face wince in agonising pain. "You knew this would happen. You had me distracted so they could hurt Shinohara." He felt his eyes watering at the thought of his partner. "And for that, I'm going to cut you up into little ghoul pieces." He let go of the blade that was almost lost inside Kaneki, pulling out another from the Isolde of his shirt. Kaneki mustered the strength he had to kick Suzuya off the side of the bed, moving swiftly to pin the investigator down on to the floor. His kagune was fighting to come out and soon enough Kaneki couldn't fight it anymore, the rinkaku breaking free.

"I don't want to hurt you, Juuzou." He mumbled as his own blood dripped down onto the dove beneath him, before grinning menacingly as his kagune took over. He remember the time he had bitten Suzuya and how tasty the dove had been. "It's been a while since I've eaten." He said happily, as the dove beneath him struggled to get free. Kaneki held the blonde down with two of his rinkaku tenticals, before leaning closer to him. "I've tasted your blood before and now I want all of you." He snickered, before opening his mouth and sinking his teeth into Suzuyas pale neck, the familiar metallic taste so filled his mouth as blood dripped from the wound. The dove kicked up at the ghoul, trying to break free, but it was pointless, Kanekis rinkaku was too strong and in this position he couldn't reach his weapons.

"I'm sorry, Shinohara-San" Suzuya whimpered as he closed his eyes. "I failed again." Kaneki pulled away from the doves neck, his lips dripping with blood.

"Hold still now and you won't feel a thing." Kaneki cooed. "But then again, you've never felt anything, have you?" He let his rinkaku pierce through Suzuyas shoulders, causing the young male to let out a cry. Kaneki laughed with excitement, but it quickly went when he realised Suzuya was no longer trying to fight, the dove had given up. "Why aren't you fighting?" Kaneki snarled, pulling his kagune away.

"The only person who cared for me is dead." Suzuya mumbled. "And the guy I thought I loved is trying to eat me." He turned his head to the side, exposing the wound on his neck. "So you might as well finish." Kaneki licked his lips, tempted by the sudden offer, but soon came to his sense.

"I...I can't eat you, Juuzou." He stood up quickly, looking down in horror what he had done. The carpet on his floor was stained with blood and Suzuyas shoulders looked even worse than his neck. "I can't do this to you."

Suzuya caughed, blood dripping from the corner of his lips. "Kill me, Kaneki."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you're enjoying it!
> 
> I think I'm going to do a few more chapters for this to brig it to an end.
> 
> I've really loved writing Kaneki and Suzuya, and I've already got an idea for another one! So if anyone is interested I'll be posting a new fic soon (whilst still updating this one). I'll keep regular updates for both fics, until this one is finished. 
> 
> My next fic will be based on ghoul!Suzuya
> 
> (Tumblr: Juuzou-Rei)


	12. Dying Dove

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been so long! I really got in to my other Kaneki/Juuzou fic and I really need to get back in to this one~

Juuzou looked up at Kaneki through watering eyes, feeling the blood escaping from the wound on his neck. He had failed to save Shinohara and now he had given up trying to save himself. 'Kill me, please...' He thought, fists clenching as he waited to Kaneki to finish the job. 'This was always going to happen...we're just too different to be together.' He felt himself starting to feel weak, his limbs turning numb.

Kaneki stared down at the dove, his eyes focusing on the blood drying on Juuzous lips and the the pool under his head which stained his hair. "Juuzou..." He muttered. A few months ago he would never have dreamed of hurting the dove, but now it seemed like it had been the only option. They were both filled with anger and rage, they needed to take out out on the people who had hurt them and it just happened that they were on opposing sides. He brought his arm up to his mouth, wiping the doves blood from his lips. Kaneki loved how sweet the teen tasted and it reminded him of the first time he had bitten him, how he had almost lost control and ruined everything between them. In his mind no one would ever taste as good as Juuzou. He frowned and looked away, unable to look at what he had done. "Why does it have to be like this?" He spoke in a hushed tone, up his voice barely audible. "Why did you have to be a dove?" He shuddered and leaned down to let his head rest on Suzuyas chest, feeling the doves slowing heartbeat.

"You know..." Juuzou breathed, putting all his effort into speaking. "...when I first went to Anteiku to investigate...I really believed you couldn't be a ghoul." He admitted softly, before coughing, blood coming from his throat and dripping down his cheek. "You were so kind...kinder than anyone has ever been to me. I refused to believe what you really were, even after you bit me." Kaneki froze for a moment, his eyes widening. "I knew you bit me, but I thought it was just you being...rough." Juuzou let out a small laugh. "I was so stupid letting myself fall in love with you. We're both idiots that tried to kill each other."

"How can you call this love?" Kaneki almost sobbed, trying to desperately hold himself together. "Look at us."

"Because I've never been in love before, I didn't know what it felt like...and with you I knew instantly. It broke my heart when you went away." Juuzous voice broke as tears slipped down his face, falling into his hair and the pool of blood under him. "And I thought we could be together..." His hand weakly moved to stroke Kanekis hair. "Even when I found out you were a ghoul part of me still loved you, but I hate you...with all my heart, I'll never forgive..." Kaneki felt Juuzous breathing getting slower and he looked up to see that the doves eyes were slowly closing. The teen was pale and his skin felt like ice to the touch.

"Juuzou?" He sat up and tried to shake the dove awake. "Juuzou, open your eyes." He panicked and stood up, biting his lip as he tried to think of what to do. He couldn't take Suzuya to Anteiku, it was no doubt that the dove would no longer be welcome there. The only option was the hospital and he would have to pretend this wasn't his fault. "Stay awake." He tucked his arms under the dove and picked him up bridal style, holding him close to his chest.

* * *

  
Kaneki sat in the hospital waiting room, having taken Juuzou in hours earlier. It was almost early morning and the emergency room was slowly emptying, a lot of patients coming and going. Kaneki had a strong dislike for hospitals, it wasn't just the smell or the fact it was filled with sick and injured people, but also since the last time he was in one his entire life changed. The doctors had taken Suzuyas straight in to surgery, but Kaneki hadn't heard anything since. After what felt like another painful two hours a nurse approached him, carrying a clip board in his arms. "Excuse me, Sir?" She asked, trying to catch his eye. "The surfer was a success and your friend is in recovery. It might be a while before he wakes up." Kaneki felt a wave of relief wash over him. "Is there anyone we can call for him? Family?" Kaneki opened his mouth but suddenly realised he had no idea if Juuzou had any family, he'd never asked.

"I'm sorry, I don't know..." He admitted. "Can I see him?" He asked.

"He's asleep, but when he wakes up, I'll come and get you." The nurse nodded, smiling politely. "We noticed the wound on his neck was a bite mark. Did you two run in to some ghouls? You're lucky you got away."

"It was just the one ghoul..." Kaneki mumbled, obviously not wanting to admit that he was the one who bit the dove. "I should've brought him here sooner..."

"You did your best. He lost a lot of blood, but you saved him." The nurse praised, only making Kaneki feel worse. When the nurse walked away to go and check on patients, Kaneki was left with his thoughts, thinking over and over at how he could've killed Juuzou. His mind went back to that night, watching the blood pool from Suzuyas neck, the young teens face turning pale and his skin getting colder. 'He was so cold.' He thought to himself. 'And I just lay there...letting him die.' Kaneki closed his eyes tightly, holding back tears. 'He was dying and I didn't stop it, I didn't want to stop it.' He admitted to himself, his mind hating that it was true.

* * *

  
A few hours later Kaneki opened his eyes, unaware of when he had fallen asleep. He let out a yawn and sat up straight to look around the room. The waiting room was practically empty, aside from a few people filling out forms and a couple members of staff at the reception desk. Glancing at the clock, he noticed it was one in the morning, he'd been there for almost an entire day. He stretched his legs out and stood up, wandering towards the reception desk. "Excuse me." He said tiredly, getting one of the nurses attention. "Can I go and see my friend now?"

"I'm sorry sweaty, but visiting hours aren't until the morning. If you'd like to wait, we'll tell you when you can go and see your friend." The lady explained sweetly, causing Kaneki to groan.

"I've been waiting to see him for hours." He complained.

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to either wait or go home." She replied, her tone of voice growing more stern.

"I've just changed the bandaged for the ghoul victim in room thirteen." The words caught Kanekis attention, as two nursed walked down the corridor towards the reception. "His shoulder is healing alright, but it looks like the neck wound will definitely scar. He refused to eat all day though, so we'll have to try again in the morning."

"Juuzou..." He muttered with a breath, heading past the two nurses and towards the room. He counted the room numbers until he arrived at the thirteenth and, checking that the coast was clear, he entered the room quietly. The room was dark and the only sound was the machine Suzuya was hooked up to, sounding out the beat of his heart. He looked down at the dove, who was fast asleep in the hospital bed. His skin was still deathly pale, but the blood had been cleaned from his face. "What did I do to you?" He noticed the bandage wrapped around Juuzous neck and around his shoulder. "I'm so sorry..." He gently moved Suzuyas bangs from his face. "You know, for two idiots in love, we really don't know much about each other. I never told you my mother died and I grew up without a father. I never told you about Hide or how he's been my best friend since...forever and we both went to school together. You never told me about you either...I want to know everything about you...I love you." He whispered, leaning down to softly kiss the doves forehead. "I'll be here when you wake up." He moved away from the bed and settled in a chair near the door. He knew he would probably get in trouble when the nurse came back in the morning, but it would be worth it, worth it if he got to see Juuzou wake up.

Once he settled in the chair, he stayed awake to keep an eye on the dove, watching as the teens chest slowly rose and fell, his breathing calm and slow. He tried to think of what would happen once Juuzou was discharged, but there seemed to be no chance that he and Juuzou would end up happily together. The two of them were both looking for revenge and that was always going to get in the way of what they could be. He let out a heavy sigh and closed his eyes, feeling worn out from stressing. It took only moments for Kaneki to fall asleep.

* * *

Kaneki was woken up by a machines flatline and panicked voices. Standing up alert, he rubbed his eyes to clear his blurred vision and saw that a doctor and a couple of nurses were stood around Juuzous bed...Juuzous empty bed. Kanekis heart started to race, thinking that something must have gone wrong in the night, Juuzous wounds must have been worse than anyone thought. Just as he was about to break down, the doctor turned to him.

"You were in here all night?" The man asked. The doctor was tall and slender, with dark brown hair and a pair of glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, he was probably in his mid thirties. "We have a strict rule of visitors not being allowed in patients rooms after visiting hours. Not only did you sneak in here, but now the patient is missing and you were the only one here." The man said accusingly, crossing his arms.

"W-What? Juuzou...he's missing?" He stood in shock for a moment, before frowning. "He left and no one even noticed!"

"If you didn't help him out of here, we're going to have to report it to the police. He was in a fragile condition and there is no way he'll survive out there by himself right now." The doctor sighed, shaking his head. "His wounds could become badly infected or he could rip his stitches out. Do you have any idea where he went?"

Kaneki raked his brain, but in all the time he had known Juuzou he realised that he didn't know much about him. "Please...don't call it in. I'll look for him...I'll bring him back. There's only so many places he'd go." Kaneki managed to soon convince the doctor to not call the police yet, but was only given a few hours to find Juuzou.

* * *

The ghoul looked in all the places he thought Juuzou would be. First he went to Anteiku, the cafe was closed and no one passed by it. It was like a ghost shop, the outcast of the ward that everyone was whispering about. He didn't go inside, he knew Juuzou wouldn't be in there, he wouldn't risk it. He next made his way to where they had fought, even up to the roof where Juuzou had fell, but he wasn't there. After searching the city, he finally went to his apartment, having thought that would be where the dove would go, but he found it empty and filled with the memories of last night. The doves blood was stained on the floor and various items were knocked on the ground. Kanekis shoulder fell, starting to lose hope of ever finding Juuzou. Just as he went to close the door, he saw his bed sheets move and a small lump on the bed shuffled. "Of course." He almost smiled, walking over to the bed. He gently pulled back the bed sheets to reveal Juuzou, curled up and cuddling Kanekis pillow to his chest, but fast asleep. "You left to come here?" He whispered, his heart warming at the thought of Suzuya running away to come to his home. "You're in so much trouble when you wake up. You have so many people worried about you, but you really don't realise that. Why can't you just see that we care." Kaneki walked over to his sofa and settled down to wait for Juuzou to wake up, there was no way he was going to fall asleep and let Juuzou leave again.

* * *

Juuzou was slowly awakened by the bright morning sunlight streaming in through the window. He opened his eyes and squinted, before turning over to get the sun out of his eyes. When he turned, he saw Kaneki looking at him from where he sat on the sofa arm, the ghouls eyes tried and dark, completely unresponsive to Juuzou being awake. "Kaneki?" He asked softly, sitting up and shuffling out the bed. His bare feet padded across the floor as he made his way to Kaneki, dressed only in his boxers and vest top. "You took me to hospital." He said once he made it to the ghoul, standing in front of him to try and catch his eyes. The ghouls eyes slowly looked up at Juuzou, widening when he came back in to reality.

"Juuzou." He said with a breath. "Why did you leave? You can't just leave hospital, it doesn't work like that, you could've hurt yourself." He scolded, crossing his arms.

"I didn't leave straight away." Juuzou informed, before looking down sadly. "I went around the hospital to look for Shinohara...it's where they took him after..." He paused for a moment. "I found his room and went to talk to him. He wasn't awake, but I needed to see him..." He looked back at Kaneki, his eyes watering but he held on to the tears. "He's never waking up." Suzuyas voice broke as his bottom lip quivered. "He's never going to see his family again and it's my fault." He moved a hand to wipe one of his eyes.

"It's not your fault." Kaneki said sternly, his hand moving to take hold of Juuzous. "You fought for him. You caught for all of them and it's not your fault this happened. He'd be proud of you." He tried to console the dove, but Juuzou looked more angry than comforted.

"How the hell would you know what he'd be proud of?" Juuzou pulled his hands away. "You didn't know him, you just let him die."

"I'm sorry he's dead, okay? I'm sorry, but being doves...and being ghouls...we all know we're not safe from death. You can't get mad because he died doing something he knew was a risk." Kaneki defended.

"He was all I had!" Juuzou snapped. "I heard you. I heard you saying you wanted to know more about me, well now you know that I don't have parents. Shinohara is the closest thing I have to a dad and now I'm never going to know if I made him proud!" Juuzou pushed Kaneki down on to the sofa. "I spent my life in an orphanage and being raised by ghouls. The only person who accepted me was Shinohara and you bastards killed him." Kaneki leaned up on his elbows.

"Fuck you." Kaneki muttered under his breath. "We all lose people. You nearly died and you're only here because I took you to hospital, so stop being a brat."

"I nearly died because of you. I'm not going to be grateful for you changing your mind." Juuzou climbed up on the sofa arm. "I hate you, Kaneki. I hate you for lying to me and letting me fall for you and I hate you for letting me live."

Kaneki rolled his eyes and grabbed Suzuyas vest, pulling him down on top of him. "I hate you too, but I'm never going to apologise for not killing you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Again, sorry it's been so long!
> 
> I hope you're still enjoying. Thank you all for your feedback, it's means a lot to hear from you.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope you enjoyed reading this. I really wanted to do more for my first chapter, but hopefully the second will have more in it.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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